My hospital offers counselling for carers.  Could you ask if this is an option?  I can understand him getting irritated (I'm the patient in our case), but it is extremely difficult for the partner.  You're understandably terrified of losing him.  

Hi Jolene.

Try to takes things one at a time for now and just hope for the best.

I guess he got annoyed, being questioned whether he is fine or not considering he is already in a situation that he is pretty sick and is in heavy treatment (well i will kinda annoyed if someone ask me something like that as well.. lol).

But i understand your worry.. but then again worry, specially unnecessary worry, and anxiety will not help you right now in anyway.

Save your energy by spending it on a much more worthwhile things like creating more happy moments together and maybe even looking after your own health.

Dear Jolene,

Thanks for posting a question. I am one of the nurses and our moderator wondered if we might be able to help. I sorry to learn that your husband has chronic lymphocytic leukaemia.

As Banksy pointed out your concerns are understandable. It must have been very frightening to see your husband becoming unwell with sepsis. You are also having to deal with the fact that he has had a lot of treatment and the options are more limited. I would imagine that this is also having an impact on how you are feeling. With regards to the sepsis, just because it happened once it does not mean that it will occur again. If it does, it is important to remember that your husband’s team will be experts at managing it successfully.

This is a lot to deal with so if you can do try to find some support for yourself.  Voicing your concerns can sometimes be the first small step towards feeling a little less anxious and I do hope that you are able to get some support at this very difficult time.

It is actually very hard for me to be specific about what support might be available as this can vary from area to area. But the following general information may be of some use.

If your husband has a specialist nurse you could ask them if any support is available for you. They will know about the any services in your part of the UK. They may also be prepared to talk with you about your fear of  your husband becoming septic again.

You could also talk with your GP about your anxiety. They often have access to counselling support although there can be a waiting list.

Some people find support groups useful. You may want to know about the Maggie’s Centres. At Maggie’s you can talk to, and get support from, a range of professional people. If there is not a centre near you they have a virtual online centre and there is information here.

Our forum members are very supportive, but I wonder if you might also be useful to join the Bloodwise forum Patient Voices. As they only deal with hematological cancers you are more likely to come across people with CLL or their relatives.

You are also very welcome to contact the nurse team here at Cancer Research UK. If you would like to telephone our freephone number is 0808 800 4040. We are here from Monday to Friday between the hours of 9am to 5pm.

Kind regards,

Jean