Hi Cookie97,

so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis, especially after going through similar with your Mum.

I think you need to be kind to yourself. Finding this out is a huge shock and adjustment for you. It's not surprising that you are dreadfully upset and your emotions are all over the place.

I felt the same way on finding out my wonderful Mum has stage 4 breast cancer. I was completely numb at first. Then felt constantly tearful and in a state of panic. Like you I also felt guilty for being in such a state when I'm not the one who is actually ill. This was a couple of months ago. 

However, since then I have got used to the idea and my emotions have settled down. You need to give yourself time to adjust. I am now much more in "dealing with it" mode. Thinking practically about what can do to support. 

Dont feel bad about feeling upset. You are so upset because you love your Dad.  

Like you I am at the start of this experience of having a parent with cancer. However being a couple of months in from the news and now that we have a treatment plan and having had time to get used to the idea, things feel calmer. No doubt there will be ups and sadly downs ahead but it's OK right now. She's OK today, so I'll take that.

I'm am sure you will adjust too and feel better when you have more information. For now just try and get through the day in front of you. Don't feel bad for feeling upset. Let your emotions happen. Use this support group. Everyone on here has been through similar and can relate.

My very best wishes to you and your Dad and family. X 

Hi Nutmeg1

Im so sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis. I hope she is well and getting better. Cancer is a horrible diesease and i am so gutted that my dad has it. I know i have to stay strong for my dads sake but its hard. Thankyou for the advice though i will use it.

thankyou once again x