Hi there ... so sorry your having to handle this an being so young too ... it’s a very confusing time , and a young lass who was close friends daughter was at College doing her exams while her mum was losing her fight with brest cancer... she found if she was kept busy, her brain “switched off” and she could cope better ... when she was home, it overwhelmed her .. sometimes I think that’s how a young person copes, by dealing with it in small quantities... she did the same after her mum passed as when she was out of the home invirment ... she partied , worked every hour she could and couldn’t cope with every one crying all the time, it was the only way she could cope ... but a couple of years down the line she feel apart and had to have a lot of counselling... she doing well now , and has come to realise as a 17 year old , she had no choice but just needed to cope the only way she could ... 

theres no right or wrong way ... luckily there’s mobile phones so that will be a way of keeping in touch but having “time out “ too .. the last thing I would say is, leave nothing unsaid, cos you don’t get a second chance ... every feeling , your feeling is o.k ... you will probably go through them all at some point ... counciling can be so helpful if you get the chance ... when ever you need it, take it ...

thinking of you ... Chrisie x

Hi,

So sorry to read about your Mum's diagnosis.

Have you spoken to anyone at the University about your situation? Your Tutor (if you have one) or a member of the "Welfare" team should be able to help. The NUS will be able to point you in the right direction. This situation occurs all the time at every University as Cancer is so common and there are literally millions of students, they will probably have established processes such as giving you some time out from study or being more flexible about assessment or dissertation deadlines.. 

Uni is stressful enough at the best of times but you shouldn't have to face this on your own on top of everything else. Many of us (me included) use work or study to stop our minds working overtime on our problems, but this doesn't always work. 

As Chriss has said, there's no right way or wrong way to cope with this just the way that feels right for you. Counselling isn't right for everyone but if you let the Uni know your situation they can try to help in practical ways.

Best wishes
Dave

Thank you very much for this reply. I do feel like a mess of emotions right now and I can relate to your friends daughter very much. I find myself distracted at university and overwhelmed when going home also. I found your advice very comforting.

thank you 

Jamie 

Hello Dave,

thanks a lot for your reply. I have spoken to my personal tutor, who was very awkward and not very helpful. I have friends that I have made volunteering to “talk about it” but I can never bring myself to. Thanks again for your reply and advice 

Jamie 

Hi Jamie,

At least you've let them know what's going on in your life, via your tutor. They should be able to make adjustments, should you need them in the future, which will help avoid you having to drop out or from crashing out.

We all deal with stress and grief differently, I tend to turn into a workaholic - I suspect you may be the same. 

Best wishes
Dave