Hi Kelly,

So sorry to read about your Dad.

Different people have different approaches to who to tell about cancer and when. I went to the other extreme and after first telling my wife, my son and my Dad I told everyone and even put something on Facebook. I just didn't want speculation about why I was missing social events and taking time off work. Your Dad probably doesn't want any attention, at least while he gets his own head around what's happening to him.

You obviously need to talk to someone about what you're going through, this forum is a safe place to do that :-)

Best wishes
Dave 

Hello Kelly,

Just seen your post and as Dave says there are so many ways that people deal with such news as a cancer diagnosis.  Our two children were in their late 20's and early 30's when my hubby (their Dad) was diagnosed(he had not wanted any of the pre-testing appointments made common knowledge so I bore this period alone with trepidation and yes our kids were furious when they found out that there had been problems for some  four months prior to the full diagnosis but I could not and would not break our mutual trust). Their Dad could not face the emotional side of talking about it and once the initial 'we must let them know' about it conversation took place he then refused to enter into further discussions.  He certainly needed time to get his own head around the news and following many tears and soul searching I became a 'go between' in updating those family and friends he was happy to be made aware of the situation in the earlier days. When he had to leave his job after a year (and the chemo blast treatment he decided to try)  we then tried to adopt the attitude he wanted.  Make the most of what we had whilst we had it and to maintain a normal as day to day life as was possible as the cancer progressed.

Hindsight is sometimes a good thing and belonging to this forum gave me incredible support (my hubby was fully aware that I poured my heart out here and I even passed on helpful hints to him when I got them).

Not sure of your age and I am sure both your parents are doing what we do best 'trying to protect you'. My daughter felt very much like she was being shut out and it took a while for her to accept that the best way to support her Dad was by carrying on as normally as possible as rediculous as this sounds.  I hope that if you feel the need for support then you can find the forum a safe place to offload as there are some wonderfully understanding people who unfortunately know just what you are facing even though each of our journies are very personal.  Take care and wish your Dad all the very best with the treatment he may be offered.  Jules54