Hi Tomski,

A very warm welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry to hear about your dad's experience with radiotherapy.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and didn't have radiotherapy because of administrative delays. That was 8 years ago. Is there any other treatment that his oncologist can suggest for him? Some people find that radiotherapy just isn't for them and, whilst it can be difficult to accept his decision, it is totally up to your dad as to whether he accepts or declines this treatment.

Try not to worry about what might happen. Instead, try to spend time with your dad and make memories. Keep him company, see that he is comfortable, see if there is anything that he would like to do, give him the support he needs. Take things day-by-day, as the big picture is just too much to cope with.

Don't worry about crying a lot. This is a great release valve for stress and, you are under a lot of stress just now.

Please keep in touch and let us know how he gets on.

We are always here for you whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi there tomski

welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about your dad

i am now 3.5 years post treatment for a tongue based cancer and had 30 daily sessions of Tomotherapy and 6 8 hour long chemo days

the treatment is hard and we all go through it in different ways and most blokes don’t talk about this sort of stuf ... we just deal with it or we dont

i was 52 when I went through treatment and it starts to knock you for 6 at the end of the second week, then it’s just a case of hanging on in there until the treatment finishes .... this can sometimes be hard to do

so let’s break this down

is it the chemo making your dad I’ll, if so talk to the medical team about changing anti sickness drugs

at 3 weeks gone your dads taste buds would have gone and eating food will be difficult if at all .... does you dad have a feeding tube or any fortisip drink ( they a small milkshakes that are full of calories .... ask your dads medical team for some

its important your dad tries to keep his swallow function going and little and often sips works well

if your dad is eating be prepared that works one day may not work the next

mentally losing your taste Is devastating ... I was totally aware it was going to happen and thought I was prepared for it .... however when it happen it hit me like a bomb shell .... it sound easy to cope with in the short term .... but it’s not

What advice has your medical team given .. and has your dad anyone to talk to .... I’m here if needed

shout if you need anything we are here to help both you and your dad

he might just be a little scared and needs reassurance .... there are loads of us on here who have been through this .... all will tell you that it’s one hell of a treatment .... but it works so it’s worth it

shout when you want

vatch

Hi Vatch.

thanks for your post..

your experience sounds tough..so respect to you..

The thing with my Dad is that he has given up after 15 sessions as he just couldn't see it through!

I am devastated but I respect his decision as it was really knocking him about.

the thing is we don't know what advice the medical team have givem him as he won't open up and discuss it!!   I'm sure he will in his own time and I will keep you informed..

many thanks again and God bless you 

Tomski

it is a difficult treatment to get through and we all go through it in a different way

i wrote a blog all the way through mine the details all the changes and problems I had and the advice I sought to get through them

it might be something that will help your dad ... it might not

gammaraygary.wordpress.com/.../

let me know if there is anything I can do

vatch

Hi Tomski,

I am glad to hear that your tears were more reassuring than tears of frustration. Many people find that just writing their problems down can help them to feel better about what they are going through.

Just a thought, but would your dad allow someone from the family to accompany him on his hospital visits? It is always helpful to draw up a list of questions between appointments. I take this list along with me to my appointments. I also take my hubby to write down the answers whilst I am asking the questions. Chances are that your dad doesn't ask the pertinent questions and forgets many of the answers before he has left the hospital grounds. He is not alone in this. Most of us feel the same, so the majority of us always  try to take someone along with us to our consultations.

The other advantage of doing this is that the other person also knows what is going on with him and they can relay this back to family and friends without bothering your dad.

I appreciate that he may not be up for this, but many people benefit from doing sharing. Bottling all up in himself is only adding additional stress to you all. I did this at first and it was awful. I feel that I am handling things much better since I became open about my journey.

I hope that you can find an alternative therapy that might help him.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx