Hi there ... keep strong Amanda... hold on ... don't worry to much about funeral arrangement as I've done that too .. even written all my letters to loved ones ... it took a weight off my shoulders as I was scared I'd go and would have no control on my own funeral .. didn't want someone else choosing music .. and wanted it up beat ... (l must be a wee bit of a control freak) but once I did it, I could concentrate on me .. and I'm still here, 6 months post op .. feeling pretty good ... my wishes and letters are all tucked away safe , hoping l won't need them just yet ... and my family have listened and took in all l need to say to them .. they got me ... as I'd listened to my own mum years ago, when she had a feeling she didn't have long ... she looked fine ... but true to her word, she had a heart attack a few months later, and I was so glad I'd listened, I knew who she wanted to have stuff from her ... 

You are going through one of the hardest times you'll ever have to face ... so many of us have been where you are now ... if you can try to live in the day ... leave nothing unsaid and hold their hand on this journey they are on .. I never got one more day with my mum .. couldn't say l love you and I'm so proud you were my mum ... you have this chance , make every day count ... 

My heart is with you at this time .. think of your baby, they pick up on so much ... l used gentle honesty with my 7 year old ... l just explained his nanny had been really poorly, and she was very tired, and has gone to heaven where she won't be in pain any more, or need her walking stick .. yes he had tears but we hugged and l had some too ... he grew up without being scared of loosing people .. and he'd look up to the brightest star and know his nanny was looking down on him ...

Please be kind to your self, as you walk on this path, and know the pain is because you were blessed with wonderfull parents... many will never know what that feels like .. sending you a big hug ... Chrissie xx