Sorry to hear it is back. My husband had the same in September when we found his renal cell cancer has metastised in his stomach and original tissue behind the missing kidney (operated on July 2015). He was clear on his last scan in Feb but the Aug scan showed new grown. We both know how you must be feeling- it is agonising when you think you have beaten it. My husband is on pazopanib an immuno therapy drug but it still has a lot of side effects like chemo.

Hopefully they have caught it early and they can give you something to cure it. We have had a horrible day today but the last four days had been much better.

Best wishes to you.

Hi BB,

Welcome back - here we go again :-( 

Why the chuff would they tell you that you were clear in March is beyond me! Unless it wasn't obvious except with hindsight. My Oncologist was brutally honest when he told me a couple of my secondaries had vanished - he just said that they were probably still there waiting to grow again just too small to be obvious on a CT scan. I'm not sure which approach is worst.

Cheers

Dave

Hello Chrissie05

Thank you for your good wishes.  I'm sorry to read about your husband and what he (and you) is going through.  The side effects are awful, aren't they?  I don't know what they intend to do with me at the moment (perhaps put me in a cupboard and lock the door) but this time last year I was undergoing radiotherapy (five days a week for five weeks) and remembering how weak and achy I felt but thinking it was all worth it.  Makes you wonder, doesn't it?  Sorry, a bit down this morning as I see you both were yesterday.  But we will get through this: this b****r will NOT run or ruin or lives. 

Sending my best wishes to you and your husband.

BB x

Hello Dave

Thank you for replying.  Yes, as you say, here we go again.

Apparently something was there in March but for some reason they chose to ignore it (perhaps hoping it would go away?).  Your oncologist seems to have gone to the other extreme in explaining things to you.  As you say, neither approach is ideal : do you live part of your life in "happy land" not realising that something is wrong until you get symptoms that won't go away, or know that something most probably will come back eventually?  Surely there must be a happy medium somewhere?  Not that I would wish this on my worst enemy, but I do sometimes wish that cancer would somehow touch these oncologists' lives in some way so that they know exactly what we're going through and how we feel about it.  I'm sure it would bring them up with a jolt and, hopefully, change their attitude towards us.  After all, we didn't ask to get this.  Sorry, let me just get down from my soap box.

How are you Dave?  Getting prepared for Christmas?  I was due to go away on holiday at the end of December but with all this, I don't know what will happen, so I'll just have to wait and see.

Look after yourself.

BB x

So sorry to hear that and can fully, appreciate your feelings at this moment in time, as I am in a similar situation, I am more confused and disappointed. Have been on chemo tabs for just on a year for secondary breast cancer. PET scans shows liver and previous lesions highlighted on spine still under control, which is great, but, 3 new lesions have appeared at top of spine and lesion at bottom of spine highlighted as active again, why is that? At the moment I am on nothing at all and have been for four weeks which is scary. Go back next Tuesday to find out what next??????. Trying to keep positive and laughing as much and as often as I can at the silliest of things helps me along. I sincerely hope that it is not as bad as you fear. Keep smiling through as tough as it may be. Will keep everything crossed for you, sincerely Dawn xx

Hi again,

I do try to live in Happy Land as often as I can, but both my primary and one of my secondaries have stubbornly kept showing up on my three monthly scans just to remind me to keep my feet on the ground.

I'm in that limbo of the waiting period now between my routine CT scan which I had earlier this week and getting the report back next Wednesday. Hopefully the cancer will still be dormant, once I get the results I can start to plan things for the New Year. The only thing planned so far is to see Alabama 3 in Manchester on the 19th, whether I'm back on chemo or not. 

We're planning a quiet Christmas with family again this year. If my scan results are good, we hope to spend a long weekend in Prague before Christmas. I also fancy ticking off a couple of bucket list items in January by scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef and maybe driving down the East Coast of Australia for a week before coming home. Nothing booked yet, but I may as well get my money's worth from my travel insurance which I bought for 12 months as it was only 50% more for a year than for a fortnight and I've already had four week's use of it. Fingers crossed that the scan is OK.

You're right. However much they try to empathise, unless a health professional has been through this experience as a patient they haven't really got a clue what we go through. I thought I understood it more than most as my Mum and Grandad both died of cancer, but it just isn't the same is it?

On that happy note ...

Cheers
Dave 

 hi dave...good luck and sincere best wishes davek, for your ct results next wed, i really hope you are ok again and nothing started up again,  i am following you, because you are one of the first people i read about when i joined cus of my dad,  its a strange thing,  but i can feel myself rooting for you and hopeing all is ok,  please let us know if you can once you know..  i read all the links you posted for me on my dads glioblastoma multiform brain tumour,  it really helped,  and find your advice very level headed,  i hope you get to do all those things you mentioned,and can also eventually look forward to christmas and newyear,  my dads still doing well which i am very pleased about, still doing the chemo pills with little bits sickness, but all in all ok,  i still cant get my head around they say he has 2 years,  but the january mri will be a big one, fingers crossed ..stay well dave, do all you can....cococat/rach

hi battlingbabe, im sorry its , here we go again for you, and sincerely wish you the best, i guess a lot of people on here and there loved ones carers, wives, husbands, all live with the shadow cloud over head, incase all rears its ugly head again...its a strange   kind of life,   but i truely think even though many would not have this,  it really makes you open your eyes to life and the world around us, and happy little things,  which makes us all more the wiser,   than well people  rushing around, and rushing there life away..i think cancer applies the brakes to all involved..and we are stronger for that..just wanted to say hi, my husband survived testicle cancer that had spread,  and we worry about lukaemia later in life as he was on very strong platinum bep chemo bags weeks at a time, and my dad has been told 2 years maax with glioblastoma brain tumour, which floored me, the 2 most important men in my life..i hope you find the strength to get through this next brush with cancer, and survive,  to see this wonderfull world we live in, and have many many more wonderfull holidays.  i also find filling my face with mince pies helps at moment heeeeeee   comfort eating,  a womans enemy..!...cococat

Hello Dawn

Thank you for your message and I'm so sorry to read of your news.  It is devastating when you think that things are, at last, sorted, at least for a time, then without even a decent break, the b*****d comes back with avengeance.  I have a friend who calls it "the enemy within" and it is, isn't it?  We can't fight it on our own and we need help and this waiting about for it is one of the worse parts.  I stlll haven't heard from the hospital about an appointment and hope that writing this I'll be proved wrong and I'll hear something soon.

Like you, I'm trying to find things to do so that "it" isn't the main thing on my mind.  I find eating very therapeutic; it gives me something to do, well my mouth anyway.  It's my birthday on Monday so I think I may buy myself a birthday cake, just for me!

I know exactly how you must be feeling about next Tuesday.  I do hope that you have somebody to go with you for support.

I'll be thinking of you next Tuesday and keeping everything crossed for some positive news for you.

Please do let me know how you get on.

Carol x 

Hello Dave

Thank you for your message.  Yes, it is the waiting for results of tests (and an appointment in the first place) that is one of the worse things.  I do hope the results are what you hope and expect.  Fingers crossed.

It'll be nice if you can get to Prague for a long weekend before Christmas, and scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef and driving down the east coast of Australia!  What a cheek!  You do realise that when you return you'll be able to talk about nothing else.  A friend of mine did the same as you hope to do a few years ago, and he can still talk for England on the subject.  I really do hope that the results of your scan show that you can go ahead and book that fantastic Australian holiday.

Let us know how you get on, won't you?

Everything crossed for you.

Carol x