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Hello from a new member of the family

4 Sep 2019 15:29

Today I joined the army of people sitting around different waiting areas, carrying my belongings and my "gown" as we went through the various tests to find out if we had breast cancer. Some were, like me, totally new to the routine, others were at various stages in the journey and one lady was given the great news that she was still clear of her cancer five years since her treatment ended. 

I already suspected that my symptoms of strange lump, pain and puckering were caused by the big C, so I wasn't surprised when the lovely consultant showed me the first ultra sound scan with its big black area where there should have been breast tissue, saying it was pretty definitely cancer, and proceeded to tell me what would happen next. 

What did happen over the next two hours was quite unpleasant and painful and I now have a 12 day wait to find out exactly what we are looking at regarding type of cancer and treatment. Strangely enough I have no feelings of fear for the future, although twenty years ago I had a scare that saw me fearful and tearful, now I'm an old dear I'm just cheesed off that I will have quite a lot more unpleasantness to face. I'm one of those boring people who don't often get ill, so when I do I'm the patient from hell, or so my daughter tells me. I admit to being grumpy if I'm ill for more than two days. 

I have read a lot of the posts, here, during my wait to go for the tests, feeling like an outsider looking in, but now I'm in, too!   I suspect future posts from me will be less upbeat, but I would like to record my experiences here, and to share others' experiences, too.

Hello from a new member of the family

4 Sep 2019 16:53 in response to Sheltie_Lady

Hi Sheltie_lady

sorry that you find yourself here and welcome to the forum. We all react differently to the possibility of having cancer. Your attitude will come in handy if it does turn out to be breast cancer but you know by reading posts here that there are a lot of us breasts ladies willing and able to offer you support. 

Keep writing down your thoughts feelings as it may help others out there ‘looking in’ Happy

Hello from a new member of the family

4 Sep 2019 21:30 in response to Sheltie_Lady

Hi,

I am new to the group and BC. I was diagnosed in July. I had  a partial mastectomy with reconstruction 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I went back for the results only to be told that my margins weren’t all clear and I have to go back in on Friday for another op to remove more tissue. I’m also waiting for results of Oncotype test so decide what my treatment plan is. I haven’t been frightened or fazed by anything so far but yesterday I came away really ****** off! My wound has just healed and now they are going to re open it. But hey ho. I’m 48 and like you have always been healthy and am **** at being ill. I do hope you don’t become down beat x

Hello from a new member of the family

4 Sep 2019 22:28 in response to Magpiemaggie

Thank you! I went out tonight with my four best friends and I broke the news rather casually, causing one of them to burst into tears, but a nice meal and a couple of drinks later ( we were celebrating three birthdays ) and they were organising my support system!  With my family, friends and now the ladies in this forum, I can take whatever comes with a brave face.  

Hello from a new member of the family

4 Sep 2019 22:41 in response to cazrosie

I would be pee'd off, too, having to be unzipped again, but better that than leave anything behind. If it comes to it, I think I would go for a full mastectomy as I'm an old woman and my knockers have had a good innings, lol! In fact, my second scan showed a nodule in my other breast, too, so I might have the two for the price of one option. It's one way to lose a stone or two!  Thank you for taking the trouble to write, it really helps!

Hello from a new member of the family

5 Sep 2019 06:58 in response to Sheltie_Lady

I have just been diagnosed with stage 4 secondary liver cancer. I felt I was in free fall whe I was told a few ago. I want to run but I can't.  We are a member of a club we do not want to be in and yet more that a third of people will get cancer. It's terrifying. I'm finding hard it to be the sick one too. I'm the fixer and doer in my family and I can't get used to not being that person any more. 

I wish you good luck with treatment. I also find Maggie's centre invaluable for counseling at the moment they have save me a few times ☺️

Hello from a new member of the family

5 Sep 2019 07:24 in response to 747

Hello 747, my heart goes out to you, I can feel the free fall you are feeling. Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I wish you the strength to bear this without such anguish and hope you find the support you need. x

Hello from a new member of the family

5 Sep 2019 16:17 in response to Sheltie_Lady

Thank you. Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing too x

Hello from a new member of the family

5 Sep 2019 16:59 in response to Sheltie_Lady

Sheltie lady

Welcome!  I am very much in a similar position in that the thought of dying doesn't phase me but that said I'd rather not feel absolutely **** until that time comes, so far so not-too-bad!

I get the impression you're probably an optimist too, and think that is serving me and those who support me well too.

I also had some tears when telling close friends (they should make a movie of when you told your 3 chums - "3 birthdays and a cancer announcement "not sure where Hugh Grant would play a role however), funny when you're the one with the "news" and end up telling them it will be OK.

I do hope that you don't have it too bad personally but also for your poor daughter & families sake by the sounds of things ( I am a perfect patient!).

I only have BC in RHS but want both removed & reconstructed for smaller, more manageable boobs!  I look on it as an opportunity as would have never have done anything otherwise (far too much of a practical, tight, northerner).

Sam 
 

Hello from a new member of the family

5 Sep 2019 18:34 in response to Yorkshire_defector1

Hey you! Yours was the first post I ever read on this forum and I recognised a kindred spirit although I’m a Lancashire returnee, having worked and lived all over the world but now happily ensconced in the beautiful Lancashire countryside. Still Northern grit!

I love the movie idea!! Hugh would have to be a Sheltie, though. 

I had a surprise just now, as my daughter just admitted she was absolutely shell shocked by my news.  I thought she had been feigning her optimism before my tests to make me feel better but I had no idea she really believed I would be told it was nothing to worry about. No wonder her brother phoned me within minutes of her leaving here. She must have called him from the car before she left my drive.  I feel sorry about that as I hate to worry her.  She’s getting her head round it now and said she’s glad my support network is building but they are only the backing group, and she’s the number one I call. My best friend, the one who burst into tears has been in touch with her, too, offering her support, that’s really pleased me as they probably need more support from each other than I do  

We've decided not to tell anyone else until I have details and after an upcoming family wedding. 

I’m going to start on that film script now. Lol!

Hello from a new member of the family

6 Sep 2019 20:10 in response to Yorkshire_defector1

That did make me laugh, i had both breasts done, I now have the pert breasts of a 20 year old, ony problem is that I dont have the face to match - i do think this is something the surgeon should remedy at the same time Happy

Hello from a new member of the family

7 Sep 2019 08:03 in response to Magpiemaggie

I agree, I can think of a few things I’d like done at the same time!! My sister once got a surgeon to pierce her ears while operating on her neck! 

I like the idea of pert breasts. I was always the one with the big knockers!

Hello from a new member of the family

7 Sep 2019 21:21 in response to Sheltie_Lady

Got to say my surgeon was brilliant - tennis sized lumpectomies and no one could ever tell looking at them.  

Hello from a new member of the family

8 Sep 2019 08:50 in response to Sheltie_Lady

Sheltie lady

Well, despite you being a "wrong un" from the wrong side of the Pennines given I am stuck down south I'll let you off for now...

Do you really have what appears to be two & a half shelties? If you do I do hope they are looking after you well, what are their names - you can tell a lot about the owner by the names they give their animals in my book (take my boyfriend for example who will name a black cat "blackie"...no hope...).

I have to say I admire your daughters unfaltering belief, until confronted by the facts, that you were to be all clear, I'd much rather that than than doom & gloom merchants, and she appears to be getting her head around the unfortunate news, hopefully the rest of your support network are also doing so.

So you do have a wedding to add to the film - not sure Hollywood will go for such a long title now so a full rewrite is needed.  I don't have a large family and my generation is definitely the last of the line (we're definitely not a maternal lot, preferring instead the company of animals) and all my friends are either married or divorced & scarred so no prospects of any weddings on the horizon here, and I do so love a good wedding so am vvv jealous...am sure you don't have to be told but do have a cracking time.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend...off for some culture shortly (I aim to inject some at least twice a year, it can be quite an effort) at some sculpture gardens and then the obligatory pub lunch (let's hope the menu caters for my newly discerning palate!).

Maggie

As long as your boobs and face aren't on show au natural at the same time am sure you'll get away with it.  Alternatively you can do as I am following an explosive outbreak of corking spots and don a bag for life on your head..possibly a bit extreme in your case I suspect...

Sam X
 

Hello from a new member of the family

8 Sep 2019 15:38 in response to Yorkshire_defector1

Hi!  Yes I do have two and a half Shelties actually, two of my own, Faith and Archie, who are great great great great grandmother and grandson, 12 years between them, and Smudge who I half own with my daughter. He lives at her house and comes to me for day care. He is the Merle and is 9 now. Faith is 141/2 and Archie. 21/2. The photo is actually a pastel painting I did of them and it does have three Shelties in it. The camera must have cropped it.  I don’t know about looking after me, they think they are the bosses.  Yesterday,  I had all three here and decided to groom them, not their favourite activity (or mine but the were in need of a good brushing). When I had done, I popped into the front garden to feed the birds, and blow away the dog hair I was covered in, and the gate at the side of the house didn’t quite latch properly when I went back in.  The dogs were all in the garden. Five minutes later I was busy doing something in the kitchen when I heard someone calling me. It was a couple of neighbours from two doors away returning three runaways. My dogs had left home in protest at the fact they looked like powder puffs!!

The family wedding is to take place in a field in September- we will be deciding what to wear when we know what the weather has in store for us. The bride’s father has spent the last few months building a pavilion large enough to accommodate us all if the heavens open. We are just wondering if we can get away with wearing wellies to get to it.  The dress code is ‘garden party’.

Enjoy you culture!!