Together we will beat cancer



1 Feb 2023 18:47

Hi All,

Just joining this furom as my Mom recently got diagnosed with Secondary Breast Cancer in her bones. Treatment seems to be going okay, but I have loads of questions which I dont want to ask the consultant in front of my Mom


2 Feb 2023 21:29 in response to MaccaD

Welcome to the Cancer Chat community MaccaD although I'm sorry to hear your mom has secondary breast cancer.

This must be very tough but I'm glad to hear her treatment is going well and we'll have our fingers crossed it continues to be effective.

I noticed you mentioned you have some questions you'd like to discuss with your mom's consultant. If you're hoping to do this privately, you will need your mom's permission so when you can, sit down and have a chat with her about this and see what she says. I hope she agrees so you're able to get the answers and peace of mind you're seeking at this time.

I'm sure some of our members will be along to say hello and tell you more about their experiences with this diagnosis soon.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator 


2 Feb 2023 22:08 in response to Moderator Steph

Thanks Steph for the kind words.

I'm looking forward to being able to share experiances on this site... one of the scariest things for me is the feeling of going through all of these emotions alone. This site shows that none of us are alone Happy



3 Feb 2023 00:31 in response to MaccaD

Hi MaccaD,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's diagnosis and know first hand, just how upsetting this can be for both of you.

You are right in the fact that you will never be alone, now that you have found this site. Most of us have had a cancer diagnosis or are caring for someone who has. We are a pretty supportive bunch and there is nearly always someone who has experienced what you are going through. 

It sounds as if your Mom is still receiving treatment, which is a good sign. Can I ask what treatment she is having? This will have come as a terrible shock to both of you. Give your Mom as much support as you can. Try to continue to make memories with her.

I lost my own mum to secondary breast cancer 25 years ago. In her case, it spread to her bones, brain, liver and lungs. Treatment has come a long way in the interim. I have since had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 13 years, but there is just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and aftercare which we both experienced.

Do you know what type of breast cancer your Mom was first diagnosed with and is here any other spread, or is it only to her bones?

I would agree with our moderator, Steph, you will need your Mom's permission to be able to discuss her case with her care providers. Doctors cannot talk to you about her otherwise, as this would be in breach of data protection. I found that I probably dealt with her breast care nurse, as much as I did with her doctors, but found it helpful to be able to get some answers to my questions. I also found this relationship helpful in the latter stages, as I was able to ask for more pain relief, when Mum needed it.

Please keep in touch and let us know how she's getting on. We are always here for you both.

Kind regards,



4 Feb 2023 10:38 in response to Jolamine


Thanks for your message. She has Secondary Breast Cancer which has spread to her bones only. This was diagnosed around 6 months ago after her initial breast cancer which was diagnosed 16 years ago and "cured" 5 years later.

Mom is currently taking Lerozole, Ribociclib, and Denosumab as well as calcium tablets.

She is in no pain, has no side effects to the treatment and the cancer was only found as a result of an unrelated x-ray that was carried out on her chest.

So all seems very positive at the moment with the Consultant also confirming that her cancer markers are dropping. It just always is there in the back of your mind that it is incurable! 


5 Feb 2023 00:40 in response to MaccaD


Hi Macca,

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. My Mum had her primary cancer for 12 years before we discovered the secondaries. At that time there was no treatment offered, unlike now. I am so glad to hear that your Mom is in no pain and that she has had no side-effects to the treatment . It is also good to hear that her cancer markers are dropping. I sincerely hope that this continues to be the case.

I agree that there is always that thought in the back of your mind, but this is something that anyone who has had a cancer diagnosis of any kind, needs to come to terms with. My cancer was meant to be a less aggressive type, grade 1, stage 1, yet I had a second primary within a year.  That gave me quite a shock! There are a number of people on this site who are living far longer than they expected with a terminal diagnosis. 

Try not to keep 'that thought' first in your mind. Instead try to make as many memories with your Mom, whilst she is keeping well. Is there anything that she would like to do, or anyone that she would like to see. Perhaps you could arrange this if she does? It is also good to take her out for a show, cinema, visit, cup of tea - anything to take her mind off the cancer. How has your Mom reacted to this latest diagnosis? Do you have other family members or friends to support you both on this journey? 

I am so pleased to hear that you are keeping as positive outlook on this as you can. This is a case where, although your heart may be breaking, you need to be the strong one in front of your Mom, even if there are plenty of tears when you are alone. 

Please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx