I think this is the hardest post I'll ever write on here, since my hysterectomy november last year, I have felt sort empty and being quite young too (24) I felt like my life was ruined and in all honesty still do. I have lost my partner because I cannot carry my children which still breaks my heart. I thought he was the one who would stand by me through anything. Everytime I see a pregnant woman or a baby I have to fight back the tears. I can use a surrogate but I just feel like kinda useless. I've always dreamed of a family, a loving, understanding husband, and two beautiful children but of what I've seen it costs so much for surrogacy, I would struggle to do it once let alone twice, right now this seems a million miles away and it can never happen. My previous partner has arised a feeling in me that no man will ever want me like this, that I will never be happy. Part of me knows this isnt true but I feel it nonetheless. I'm still soildering on, I look on the brightside as much as I can but when it comes to my 'happy' future... I just dont see one. I've also got my first scan after finsihing treatment coming up in october and I'm scared. I don't really know what im asking for, maybe someone thats been through the same? Will these feeling's ever go away or anyone have any advice on how to get through this?