Hello M0n0,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother, on behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat I offer you our sincere condolences.

It can be difficult to talk now, everyone grieves differently so do take your time, but remember that we're always here if you need someone to listen.

Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Best wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss; I'm the same, lost mum on 26th September. You do feel exhausted and empty, does it get any easier, I had my first day yesterday when I didn't cry but today I have cried on and off all day, not sure about you but it still doesn't feel real to me. I don't know if its a good idea or not, but would it be easier to talk to a stranger, maybe Samaritans or Cruse? I haven't tried that so not sure if it will help, some people on this forum have tried it and has helped.  We have to believe what people say, that time is a healer but not at this stage, feelings are still raw. My Dr said to me, to cry, not too hold it in.

Keep posting, people are so kind on here and know how awful it is and how you feel. I keep thinking that my mum is looking down on me and she wouldnt want me to carry this sadness forever. 

It is very difficult, I feel broken but I think the answer is, yes, it will get easier, there is no set process or timescale and not be hard on ourselves for feeling as we do.

Take care

x

Hi there many ask that question on here does it get easere and yes it does but its only been a short time for you try to hang on to the fact that it doese you may not think that now as many do ive been through it to its been neerly six months for me and i still feel sad but its not like it was i asked the same question as you some said it takes years i didnt need to hear that it doesnt help anyone ive noticed ime slowly remembering good times   its so slow you dont notice it so hang on in there take one day at a time i found counciling realy helpful as like many friends and family eventualy try to change the subject thinking its helpful but isnt the councilers dont do that  so best wishs to you and your family .paul

hi I came on this website for the first time yesterday or a couple days ago after having one of my biggest breakdowns yet and wrote a post really similar to urs as my situation is very much the same. I’m trying to find different ways and methods to deal with it such as going on this website and trying to get by day by day, I still miss my mum more than ever she was my best friend too, I’m just kinda waiting for it to get better because surely it will. But I think writing on this websites helping me maybe because like you I never really open up to anyone and just say I’m fine so maybe it helps getting everything off our chests. Sorry for my badly written answer I kinda just rambled there probs doesn’t make complete sense but just wanted to write so u know ur not the only one n we’ll all make it through these *** times to better days xxx

Hi there i couldnt have put it better than you have and your so right holding it in makes it last longer and how nice of you to reply to someone when your suffering yourself so you keep talking bless ya.paul

Thank you so much xx

Hi Linda, 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me whilst going through the same thing yourself. I’m also sorry to hear of your loss. You are so right... yesterday I had an awful evening - just so emotional but today I’m feeling a bit stronger. It’s just a rollercoster isn’t it. 

I can see already how kind people are on here so I will continue to use the site. 

I hope it does get easier - it’s so recent for us both so hopefully time is the healer.

Thanks again xx

That’s really helpful Paul and really appreciated. I take time to remember the good times everyday with my siblings and I know we are all experiencing the same pain but we swiftly brush over it - probably in fear of upsetting one another. One day at a time is the best advice - I’ve already experienced days where I feel stronger and days (like yesterday) where I’ve felt so empty... I just have to try and deal with these one at a time like you said. Really thankful for your reply x

You didn’t ramble - I complete understand what you’re saying. I think yesterday was one of my lowest days and it did feel like a release letting it out on here especially with such kind replies. 

I do hope it gets easier - losing our best friends surely has to be the worst pain but I also like to think that the impression they made on our lives shows how amazing they were as mothers and their strength is in us... over time I’m sure it will come out. 

I’m truely sorry to hear of your loss and as Paul mentioned, so nice of you to respond to me whilst going through this yourself too. 

Hopefully those better days aren’t too far away xxx