Hi,

Just to let you know that I am thinking of you all and praying that you manage to keep your Dad comfortable in his final days.

It is so much better to have him at home and in the bosom of his family. This may sound very insensitive, but it is certainly not meant to be. My Mum died of secondary cancer after fighting it for 12 years. At the end it was really heart-breaking to watch her and I felt relieved for her when she was finally taken from us. The reason for this was that she suffered considerable pain in the latter stages, but when she went, I knew that she was at peace and out of pain.

Kind regards,,

Jolamine xx

Hi Brokenhearted,

Doctors tell us that people who are in a coma can still hear conversations, so keep talking away to your Dad. Don't worry about crying so often. This is a good release valve, so let the tears flow, but try not to do so in front of your Dad.

Yes, I will always miss my Mum but I could no longer bear to watch her suffer as she did and ended up praying for her end to come quickly.

Stay strong and remember that we are always here.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hiya I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I know exactly how your feeling we lost our dad last Tuesday after 9 months battling pancreatic cancer. Seeing such a strong powerful man reduced to someone I didn't recognise was absolutely heartbreaking. I prayed for him not to suffer so when he died at home surrounded by his family I thought I would feel relief.  I am happy for my dad being out of his suffering but emptiness I feel is awful. I miss him so much and just want him back as he once was. I know in time it's meant to get easier and hope to god it does. Your not alone in this and with the support from your family you will all get through this awful time together. 

Hello Jolamine,

I truely believe dad could still here us too the end as we asked him to signal to us if he could hear us by blinking his eyes or moving his thumb etc and he did that to respond to us.

My dear darling dad sadly passed away last night we was all surrounded by his bedside me, my mum and sister held his hand to the end gave him a kiss and he took his last breath he looked so peaceful bless him. as much as we are devastated it was also a relief too see him no longer suffering and in pain. It still hasnt sunk in properly that hes gone. X

Hello hun,

i know exactly how you feel, my darling dad passed away last night we was surrounded by his bedside at home holding his hand i gave him a kiss on his forhead and he took his last breath he looked so peaceful its a comfort to no we was with him till hes last breath. But Seeing my dad deteriote and change to how you described hardly recognisable due to the cancer has been the worst thing ive ever had to witness in my life. It still hasnt sunk in properly that hes gone ive cried rivers id do anything just to see him smile one more time and have one of his cuddles. Im just glad hes finally at peace now x

Dear Brokenhearted,

I am so sorry to hear that the end has finally come for your Dad and I offer my sincere condolences. I am glad to hear that he was at home and in the bosom of his family when he passed. This is what most of us would like, but sadly, not many of us achieve it.

I know how you feel. When I lost my Mum I was relieved that she was no longer suffering and in pain, but I was numb too. I then got into a 'doing mode' to notify family and friends and to arrange the funeral, etc. This kept me busy until after the funeral and then I was hit with the stark reality that she was really gone and that I would never see my wonderful Mum again.

I know that it is difficult, but try your best not to remember your Dad in his final weeks, but think of him in happier times. Do you have a good photo of him that you can put in a prominent place? I have one of my Mum and I often find myself talking to her as I pass it. I know that this sounds daft, but I get great comfort from that. I also believe in the life hereafter and look forward to meeting up with her again. In the meantime I am sure that she is still watching over the family and I encourage my family to do all that they can in this life to make her proud.

You sound like a very close family and I'm sure that you will support one another to get through this awful spell.

Thinking of you all and praying for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello Jolamine darling,

thank you for your kind words, i have many happy memories of my dad which i will treasure forever he will always live on and never be forgotten. We have many photos of him around the house. I still have the awful image of him dying but hopefully with in time i will forget that i close my eyes and i see him how i remember him the handsome strong proud man with a big heart of gold. Im glad we was there with him to the end and he new how much he was dearly loved and appreciated thats a great comfort and to no he is now at peace.

i believe we will see our dear loved ones again when our time comes definetly. When they removed my dad from the house not long after when walking up the stairs i could smell my dad which was as if to say he is still here which was a massive comfort xx 

Dear Brokenhearted,

I know that it is so difficult to eradicate the images of your Dad in his last days. I don’t think that you will ever manage to do that completely, but somehow or other they will become less raw. I am glad that you have lots of pictures of him. You will find these of great solace in years to come.

You mention that you still got the smell of your Dad after he was removed from the house and found this a consolation because it felt as if he was still there. I hope that in the years to come you can imagine his presence by your side in everything you do and that this prompts you to make him proud of everything you do. Even for those who have a little belief, this can be of great comfort.

Thinking of you all.

Jolamine xx

Hi Brokenhearted,

I  am so sorry to hear this really sad news - my heart goes out to you and your family. X