Health anxiety is killing me!!!

Hi there, 

For the past few months I’ve been having a range of symptoms and I’m scared it could be something serious. I don’t mean to offend anyone on the cancer chat who have been diagnosed and I am deeply sorry and wish you all the best. I am just so scared of becoming ill and dying and it’s taking over my life! Please bear with me as this post is going to be a long one!

It started a few months ago in December when I noticed my right eye felt different and my vision felt weird and blurry. I also started getting really bad headaches at the same time, like a clamp squeezing my head. I immediately went to my opticians and a minor eye injury unit and everything was normal. I panicked myself into thinking I was going blind and didn’t believe what the opticians said. It got to the point where I was constantly checking my eyes by covering each of them up and seeing what I could see. Ultimately I ended up stressing myself out to the point where I experienced depersonalisation/de realisation feelings and that was terrifying! Nothing looked or felt real but thankfully it went away after 2 weeks. I still had my awful everyday constant headaches and went back to the GP where they said it was chronic tension headaches.

A few weeks later I started experiencing dizzy bouts but almost like when you’re drunk and feel really unsteady, this happened till the point I actually fell over! I also started realising my memory wasn’t as sharp and I couldn’t pronounce certain words like consistency! I went back to the GP and told them about this and he said it was stress but I insisted a blood test (FBC, glucose, iron, vitamin D, thyroid, kidney, liver) everything came back normal except my white blood cell count was borderline and liver enzyme level was quite high. But I felt fine until now.

Now for the past two weeks, I’ve been experiencing headaches again but they feel different to my tension headaches, joint pain in my wrists/fingers/ankles/knees/hips/elbows, constant unsteadiness, pain in left side of neck (also neck lump), pain in left shoulder/arm and back, burning/tingling feeling in arm/shoulder/chest/upper back along the spine, shortness of breath and coughing. 

I went to the GP where he said I had sinusitis due to my nose being blocked and anxiety and said I should visit a chiropractor. The second GP I went to referred me for an ultrasound on my neck and also said I have anxiety causing my symptoms and said I should visit a physiotherapist for my pain and also gave me a leaflet for counselling. I do have a vitamin D definciency which the GP said could explain my joint pain but I just don’t believe that all my symptoms are being caused by anxiety and I think it’s important to explore the other medical possibilities before putting the blame on anxiety.

I am so scared that I might have a brain tumour that may have spread to my neck/lungs/bones as my shoulder and arm hurts on and off and I get a weird tingling burning sensation on the same arm. It could just be health anxiety since it got triggered due to my eye problem and I just can’t seem to focus on anything else besides how I’m feeling and I’m constantly googling which comes up with all the stuff I’ve mentioned above. I just need some reassurance and advice on how to deal with this. I’m only 19 and I’m not ready to die or accept death and these symptoms have become so debilitating. I’m crying almost every day and I feel stuck and trapped.

thank you for taking the time to read this post as I know it is long but I just needed to share my story. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. 

  • The first advice I would give you is - don't google your symptoms!! I know it's so hard to resist but it really doesn't help, and if this is being caused by anxiety (which is highly possible), googling things will only make it worse. 

    I've had health anxiety (triggered by two people close to me who got ill) and I found that counselling helped, so I think it would be worthwhile for you. Even if you do actually have something physically wrong, you're clearly now very anxious aswell and this needs addressed.

    Have you had the ultrasound on your neck yet? I'm not a medical professional so I can't tell you whether you're ill or not, but even if you are, any condition you have will be treatable, possibly even curable, and it's highly unlikely that it's any form of cancer.

    I know you think that it's more than anxiety, but anxiety really can cause many of the symptoms you're describing. Remember that the mind is very powerful - if you keep telling it that you're ill, your mind and body will give you the symptoms to 'prove' it.

    I would suggest that you go back to the GP and tell them you want to be referred for counselling. It really will help.

    I hope everything works out for you x

  • Hi sorry you're having so many problems. One thing I've noticed your having a lot of pain. Most cancers you don't get any pain they sneak up on you very slowly and get a good hold also they don't start all over the place at once it starts one place and spreads out from there it can take months or even years before it's gone to go from neck to the shoulder remember you won't feel it. I have it in prostate, lymph nodes, bones and a lung. I wasn't ill I just went for checkup and blood test showed cancer no pains at all, hope they find what's wrong with you good luck.

    Billy 

  • Hi Rani,

    your symptoms are the exact same as mine like for like. I have an enlarged lymph node on my neck and have had many tests and seen specialist which has all came back clear. I too am struggling with severe health anxiety and have been for a little while now. I believe most of the symptoms are probably down to this but you are doing the right thing and get it checked.

     

    i couldn't not write as you have described my feelings down to a tee. 

  • Hello!

    Firstly, I'm so sorry your experiencing all this anxiety when I read this post this was literally me 5 years ago and I understand the extreme stress and worry! 
     

    I literally had all the same symptoms, constant headache, pain in my eyes, dizziness, difficulties concentrating, numbness and pins and needles in my body. Like you I immediately thought the worst and suspected a brain tumour. 
     

    Also like you my dr told me I was just a migraine sufferer and nothing was wrong. Eventually after multiple visits over the course of a year I was given a lumber puncture and diagnosed with intracranial hypertension! I couldn't tell you the relief I felt knowing I didn't have cancer, I was only 21 at the time but could finally receive the right medical treatment after a true diagnosis. 
     

    Im no dr but your symptoms sound extremely similar to what I experienced so it might be worth asking your GP for a lumber puncture (spinal tap) so they can check the fluid pressure on your spine/ brain. Try not to think the worse because it'll only put more pressure on yourself and worsen your symptoms. I would have a chat to your GP and ask for further testing. 
     

    Good Luck with everything! 

  • Hey 

     

    so sorry you are having these feelings I had to reply as I am also suffering with the exact same thing at the moment constant pressure headaches , dizziness also just have no life in me anymore I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've gone too the doctors and the amount of blood tests I've had done. One doctor said I have vertigo but I've had this over a year and the headaches just not going I also have stiffness in the neck which can be soo sore some days. I am waiting for a CT scan now which I'll be having on Sunday 27th June to rule out a brain toumour which I constantly think I have :( 

     

     

  • Hi kayliegh your symptoms sound so similar to mine. When I was pregnant last year I had a couple a raised glands in my armpits but went for a scan and they said hormonal not suspicious. I had my baby in September 2019 and I have never felt the same. It started with a stiff neck for months that's literally only just healing but I also get a dizzy woozy feeling all day, I can't concentrate - sometimes people ask me something and I just say yes even no the answers no or they talk right through me. I've suffered a few headaches.I was told sinuses and vertigo and got spray but it's still there. Also my foliate levels were low. Anyway I checked my right armpit a few months ago and it's swollen but it feels like hard muscle then sometimes like a lump but only when my arms are stretched. I went to my doctor who just said keep an eye out but I rang back cos I'm sure it needs rechecking. I go for a blood test Monday. My mind is all over the place I have 5 children and Google everything. I've got a small pain in my back like a poking pain and am worried sick this may be a clot or another gland. I hate being like this and just want to feel normal

  • Hello, I can relate so much to this, In the last 6 months I have probably prescribed myself with every cancer out there and numerous brain tumors! It all started for me 6 years ago when I actually did have cervical cancer at 25 thankfully I got the all clear after a hysterectomy , then my mum got ill with lymphoma in her brain she was given the all clear however it has since returned on her skin and she is still battling this now after it keeps returning after every different chemo. Everyday is a constant struggle, every ache or pain or get I'm in fear, it's ridiculous to the point even if my little finger hurts I must have cancer in it it's a sad over thinking exsistance and I just want to feel normal again, it's so mentally draining. Last week I went to Dr's with a lump in my groin and got sent for emergency ultrasound, it's has come back with just a cluster of normal lymph nodes in the area but one slightly enlarged but nothing much suspicious the Dr said, he has referred me back to gynecology dept for more checks so of course now I am so paranoid it's lymphoma. My whole body is itchy all the time but I'm all most certain this is probably a symptom of anxiety. I have no night sweats, I have lost weight but this is because I'm trying. Wish I could know the answers to help us because I know how awful living life thinking everyday you have cancer I wish you the best of luck xxx

  • This is crazy, you have literally explained everything I have been feeling and like yourself I have also been searching through google diagnosing myself with anything I can or anything that even seems similar to how I'm feeling, I have now developed a stuffy left nostril and slight sore throat aswell as a hard lunp on back of my head. I hope you're okay and would love to hear back from you, hope all is well 

  • hi guys just wanted to join as it's made me feel a lot better that this is happening to other people and I think that I might be able to calm your nerves a little 

    last year in febuary I had a bad panic attack in the night and after that began doing stupid things like checking my heart rate all the time and always thinking I was having a heart attack or a stroke , every little pain or twitch in my body I overthink however I have learnt over time that these are all normal so that has improved however over

    time my anxietY has changed and now all I do is stress that everything I eat or drink has drugs or something in it which I stress about so much to a point where I stopped eating for a while. I get the dizzy falling over feeling about 6 times a day and I suffer with anxiety attacks which used to be less frequent but happen more now as my anxiety has got worse, I don't have ant

    lumps or bumps and I know that the feelings are anxiety as they have worsened with it as time has gone on, you can get therapy to help these symtoms but it's hsrd

    to get a doctors appointment at the momentthe bit that bothers me the most is the eyes feeling funny and the falling over feeling as it is very scary and makes you wonder if it's something else but anxiety does scary things to your body 

  • I am so relieved that it isn't just me with feelings of anxiety around health. Mine started in October 2019 when I had persistent microscopic blood in my urine, I was terrified I had bladder cancer. Had all the tests and got the all clear but it's still there no idea why. In December 2020 i went to the dr feeling dizzy and weak and got given iron tablets for borderline low iron. I felt better within a few days but have since had problems with my ears and sinuses which has set my anxiety off again and I feel so sick and ache and specially in my neck, I'm getting headaches and feel so on edge I can barely sit still. I'm fed up of worrying over every little thing. I've not yet told a dr about my anxiety but I feel it's getting to the point that I need to