Hi Archetype, I understand where you are coming from but don't put cancer at the forefront of any females you meet.  I would meet people in the normal way, on line, websites, or any other normal dating ways that you can.  See how it goes for a few get together dates, they might not be the "one" so keep your illness to yourself.  If you do meet someone you think is for you then be honest and tell them.  If someone loves you they will put you first, not run away at the first hurdle.  Don't stay lonely, you sound like a caring thoughtful man and that is worth a lot to a woman.  Good luck with your future dates.  Best wishes Carol 

I appreciate your encouraging words.

I have since relaplsed in the lung and am waiting for surgery to have this removed. It has taken two full months just to see my surgeon. Congrats NHS!  I wonder after how long the surgery will take place.

I am very lonely and sad and sometimes it is really very tough emotionally not having a partner to talk to. I have also permanent sexual damange after my pelvis surgery to remove a metastatic tumor there and I can no longer have children. I never felt the desire to have children in my life(but I could technically) but I know many women want this so another thing that would make it even more difficult for me to find someone relatively younger than me without children and who is ok not having children. 

I have tried the online dating scene a little bit and I have only disappointments. I am not sure I am psychologically and emotionally ready to go through a ton of rubbish till I find a good person. I find many people that I meet to be very hypocritical (in the name of politeness), always trying to be kind as opposed to be truthfull and you waste hours with them only to find out later they only came for a meal with you just because  they had nothing else to do and because they knew they wouldn't pay for it. God forbid and you don't pick up the bill to pay for a stranger you just met, they will never talk to you again. I see this again and again. This attitude  of entitlement turns me off.

I am generally turned off by mainstream online dating. I must say feeling lonely and having a sense of impossibility of finding anyone for you to be noticeably tougher than facing my disease. It seriously hurts and affects your life more. 

Hi Archetype

Firstly, I want to wish you a happy, hopeful & healthy New Year & New Decade :)

Secondly I understand your need for a stable relationship and I agree that the general on line dating world is quite scary ! But have you thought about trying to perhaps explore your current interests or hobbies, or perhaps try some new ones, as a way of meeting interesting people ?  There are also more niche dating sites, that bring people of a common interest together ? These, in my limited experience, tend to be quite 'social event ' and 'community friendship' focused rather than being all about hooking up. And we all know friendship & shared interests, are a great place to grow meaningful relationships. 
 

Wishing you good luck in your adventures.

p.s. The two dating sites I tried were 'biker or not' (for motorbike fans) and 'Christian Connection' (for people of faith), so both were very 'niche' but were genuine interests of mine and I met a great tribe of friends :)

I tried in the past the online dating scene and just got to it again a bit recently. It is really not an effective way of meeting new people in my experience unless you are willing to meet "anyone".

All "good looking" girls always seem to be getting a ton of messages from desperate/weird guys and the few genuine ones get lost in that sea of abnormality. The major problem for me is that I am not looking to have kids and I have lost a few girls who the moment the learned about this they quickly disappeared.

I will see what "hobbies" i can find that would involve many girls.

I would like someone around 25-30 however in this age range the moment you tell them you aren't certain that you would want kids(or that you don't want kids) it just turns them off. I can either lie that I want kids for short term advantages or be honest, take the moral high ground and end up emotionally and sexually starved.

It is easier with grils who are too young to want kids or too old to want/be able to have them but neither category is age appropriate for me. I have tried with young ones (21-23) and they are all the same, in the sense that they don't know what they want in life, they are too insecure/uncertain. Last option is girls who already have a kid and don't want more which to be honest is a bit far from my "Ideal" choice.