This is such a lovely post and I’m sorry for your loss. We have been given a diagnosis for my mum of less than a week now. 

I feel cheated out of Xmas this year. It’s always been my favourite time of year when my small family get together. I’m getting upset at people shopping with their mums and adverts with family altogether. 

Xmas will never be the same now and this thought makes me so sad xxx 

Hi there Brian... your so right, it brings back memories as my mum went too, 4 weeks before Xmas.. came across this poem, seems apt to how we feel ... hope you don't mind me sharing it ...

Every day without you, since you had to go ....                                                                                                         is like summer without sunshine, and winter without snow ....                                                                               I wish I could just talk to you, there's so much I would say ......                                                                              life has changed so very much, since you went away ....

I miss the bond between us,  and I miss your kind support...                                                                                  your in my mind, and in my heart, and every Christmas thought ....                                                                       I'll always feel you close to me, and though your out of sight .....                                                                          I'll search for you among the stars, that shine on Christmas night   xx

So true Brian this is my first Christmas with out my wonderful mother and my wonderful gran miss them both so much . My gran passed away 23 june then my mother passed away 2 August it’s been such rollercoaster that only way can describe it . I nearly lost my sister over the weekend I don’t want 2 say 2 much but she took over dose Saturday nite she was intensive care she had 50 50 chance of savouring she was sent on ward Monday then she was send home Tuesday . I really wish my mother was here :( its so hard sometimes trying 2 be the strong all of the time :( 

Hi Harrijo,

Thank you for the reply. I am so sorry to read about your mother. When mine was in hospital I have never felt so helpless in my life. Whe I was young and ill it was alway her who helpedme get better but now she was ill I found there was nothing I could do but be there for her. To watch my mother who had always been so active and independant slowly fade awaywas the hardest thing for me;she was so brave.

I luckily have many happy memories and when I feel her loss, I dig thesemomories out of the rusy filing cabinet that is my brain as it helps to re-live those good times. 

Thinking of you as I know the emotions you must be feeling, Brian.

Hi Chriss, 

Thanks for sharing that lovely poem; I dont mind at all. I do think it helps us to talk about how we feel regarding the loss of our loved ones. Take care, sending kind thoughts to all of you, Brian.

Hi Gemini,

I bet this Christmas will be hard for you this year. But there is one thought that pops up every year and that is the thought that I know My mother would not want me to be unhappy she is no longer here and she would expect me to try my best to be happy. But as you say it's so very hard. Take care and sending best wishes your way, Brian.