Hello I'm really sorry for your loss and yes he is very young breast cancer or any cancer sucks I lost my wife to breast cancer 22nd of December last year she was only 39 left me up a two-year-old and a nine-year-old and it's really hard like you say do you wanna go back in time! And people don't wanna talk about your mum anymore because it upsets you and feeling that with the way people don't mention her unless I talk but then I don't wanna get hurt that's why places like this is brilliant because we all kind of know what we're going through

Hi Chris,

So extremely sorry to hear about your wife. That must be so hard for you with two young children. All I can say is your bond will become stronger with your children after going through all of this! I feel as though I have become a lot closer to my dad as we have to help each other through this difficult time.

I agree people only talk to me when I mention my mum first but then I feel like I'm getting on people's nerves or attention seeking when I bring her up but it's just my way of dealing with her loss is talking about her and feeling like she's closer to me.

Hi there ...

I think loosing our mum's the second hardest thing we go through ... second only to loosing a child ... that is my thoughts any way .. I was a little older then you when I lost my mum ... but looking back, we never loose them, we take them with us in our hearts ... safe where cancer or like my mum a heart attack... 

Over the years I've felt her close .. not when I looked for a sign, but at different times over the years like when I got diagnosed with breast cancer... I found feathers everywhere ... esp in my bra... and then when my surgeon told me I was low risk of spread.... they stopped ... 

You can come on here and talk about your mum ... my family still talk about my mum, 31 years later .. I will always talk about her .. so don't listen to those who say you should look ahead or move on ... we can't.. they are part of us, just look in the mirror... she's right there, she's half of you ... 

You know I did learn to live with out her, but I'll miss her the same till the day I see her up there ... missing them stays .. but know your joined by an invisible cord... they may have thought they cut the cord the day you were born, but it's still there you just can't see it ... she'll be watching over you , just believe ...

When my eldest son who she adored had a bad bike crash ... I rushed to the hospital and when they took his crash helmit off there was a perfect kiss mark on his forhead ... in her colour lipstick ... nothing could have made that mark ...and that's how she used to kiss his forhead when he was little ... i think she kept him safe that day ... so you hold on in there ... and know she'll never leave you ... and she'll be looking round your new house with you .. and when you hold your baby in your arms, she'll be looking over your shoulder ... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Hi Sara thanks for your message

If it helps I'd love to hear all the things about your mum sometimes it might be easier to talk to a complete stranger I know when I talk about my wife to strangers I kind of feel good that someone is listening but it's completely up to you! I guess you're right I guess I will have a closer relationship with my boys were doing a lot of crying I've got memory boxes we are doing okay well maybe not! 

Hi Chrissie,

Thankyou so much for your message and kind words. I never thought of some things the way you have explained so that really helps!! I totally agree and can't imagine losing the pain of a child. For my Nan (my mums mother) this is her 3rd child ( the other two children was both under 10 when she lost them) she has lost aswell as her husband ( also to cancer). She collapsed and broke down at my mums funeral and I worry for her aswell. I try and look after her the best I can as I know my mum would have wanted me to and we are really close aswell. 
 

Its funny you should say about signs from your mum! I also feel like my mum has sent me signs. I was making my bed one morning and a feather landed on my arm. I rushed to tell my dad and he joked looking at a picture of my mum and said 'where's my sign' the next minute a robin come sat on our outside swing where she used to sit staring at us for a good 2-3 minutes just looking straight at us. I also had a dream of her giving me a hug. I would like to think that was her visiting me in my dream giving me a well needed hug. I don't know if I sound like I'm going mad but like you said we have to believe and it helps me.

Thankyou so much for sharing your experiences! It really helps. So sorry for the loss of your mother also.

Sarah.

Hi Sarah, 

Sorry to hear about your mum. I found this post after reading your last one too. I'm 26 and about 8 weeks ago my mum was diagnosed with cancer of unknown primary. She went to the doctors & a&e so many times and they never found anything. Now there is no cure for the cancer as it is already advanced and has spread to her spine and she has lost her leg function. She has 3 more of 10 radiotherapy sessions to go to try to shrink the tumour and make her pain less. It's been hard not being able to visit her in hospital because of COVID for 8 weeks. I feel the same way you did, cheated at being so young and knowing I have to lose my mum. Reading your story I feel that I'm not the only one going through this.

Thinking of you, Kirsty.