Emily,

I am very sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately there is no accurate way of predicting how much time is left. I would speak to his doctors/caregivers/nurses and ask them. 2/3 weeks may be enough or not. I dont think it is possible to predict. I am very sorry.

I wish you the best.

I would speak to the doctors. My mum was hallucinating the day she died. But my grandad was about a week before he passed away. So I dont think there is any timescale

Thank you Cuddlybunny and Afy for your replies - they still mean a lot to me, even with no definitive answer. 

I guess in a way, it means the end is pretty near. 

All the carers/nurses say is 'any week', which doesn't feel helpful.

Thanks again. 

hi ES , thats good youve been to see him already, do go and see him again if you can, soon as you can, as you dont want to regret things you could have said, if the nurses are saying any week now, i think its time to make that long journey again,  as it is said,  you dont regret the things you do,    only what you dont do.     go to your dad if you can..there may be new things he needs to say to you now..that werent thought of, it must be so hard for him,  i bet he would love to look on your face again, it must be so frightening for him to go through, all support is good,  i intend to be with my dad right till the end, even though will be dreading it when time comes, but i will put my feelings aside,will be strong, and make sure he is surrounded with love  at such a frightening moment,  think what you would want on your final days, really think about it....i bet you want family near...i wish you all the best and hope you go again before to late...... x

Thanks cococat - I did go and see him recently and said my goodbyes in my own way. This next trip, if I can do it, will be a bonus. I will feel at peace if I don't see him again and have nice memories of my last visit, so that's the plus side. But if he wants me to go and he's still with us, I will do - but at this point I can't book flights until nearer the time when I can go (a 4 day public holiday) so have to wait... 

Hi ES

Such difficult and emotional decisions and sadly no easy answers.  With my Dad he did not suffer with hallucinations at all being lucid till he passed away.  We had said our goodbyes at a previous visit (only 2hrs travelling required) but he slipped away after sending us all home as he wanted some rest.  Even the doctors at the Hospice could only say 'days' as a guide.  When my husband passed away nearly two years ago I think we were aware that time was short but again no change in his mental capacity even though he had been more or less confined to bed for four days. His last day was spent propped up watching tv with family and friends popping in and when I called the doctor out the previous evening all he could say was it would probably be days rather than a week.  In fact it was less than 24hrs later but I now draw comfort from knowing that we were chatting with him just a few hours beforehand though absolutely devasted by our loss and still missing him.  Chatting with his doctor since his death has taught me that no one can really be sure about a timeline and you can be living just around the corner and still not be present when the time comes.  Be at peace with what is right for you and your Dad and if you can still chat with him on the phone he will be pleased to hear your voice. Jules

Thank you Jules. That has really helped me and I appreciate it.

I didn't have a good day today as I learned he is having difficulty breathing and is becoming restless and that now it might only be a week or two. But you never know. Like your dad, mine is still mentally lucid, although sleeping most of the time. 

I do feel at peace but feel so sad, frustrated and angry at the same time.

Today I wrote a letter to him (for his wife to read out loud to him).. telling him of my life of wonderful memories and how part of me is him.. more than that, but you know what I mean. It felt like I needed to tell him and a bit of a release to send it off.

It's all so horrible isn't it.

Almost surreal, in an unpleasant way.

Thanks again... everybody's support here is making a massive difference.

Emily x

Hi Emily,

I found it was very much like being on an emotional rollercoaster for everyone involved day to day. I joined the forum when my hubby was diagnosed and it was then and still is now a very helpful place to express your own feelings so I am pleased you are finding support here too.

Getting the ongoing news about his progress, when you are at a distance, makes it difficult to concentrate I am sure and even though we are aware that the illness progresses it is still hard to hear when the  bad news comes. 

The forum is hear to listen when you need it. Take care. Jules x

Hi Jules,

I've been offline for ages - too much going on. However, some good news, I managed to get to see my dad again last weekend.

He actually seems to have perked up a bit since they put him on steroids and he's eating pretty well. He keeps fancying egg and chips!  :)

He is very tired and is having 'hallucination' moments every couple of days now, but he seems to know they aren't real, but has them anyway.

I was so happy I saw him and was surprised to see him so well, given that the Macmillan nurses were saying any day now... they keep saying the same, but he has improved and that was from the first 'any day' 3 weeks ago! Now I have to hope he makes it another 4 weeks so I can see him at Christmas. I'm very hopeful, I must say. Although I realise you never know.

Hope you are doing OK?

Take care,

Emily x

Hi Emily,

This may seem like a daft question but what meds is your Dad on?

My wife was on morphine a couple of years ago after a brain haemorrhage and she had some very weird hallucinations because of that. When my Mum was in her final days with cancer she had them too, again she was on some heavy pain killers by then. We were told "any day" several times but she rallied round each time.

Best wishe

Dave