Hello Violetgirl

I'm sorry that you feel this way. I can see that you posted in our Ask the Nurses topic area and sometimes members don't reply to posts there as they feel that people are specifically asking the nurses for advice and support. 

Unfortunately with it being the bank holiday weekend, our nurse team is out of the office until 9 am tomorrow morning.

The situation you've described in your other post is obviously a difficult one for everyone concerned. I'm not sure that I would know what to say to your friend's daughter. Whilst I myself have had cancer, and have loved ones who are living with cancer, my journey is different from yours and to everyone else's here on the forum. I think that if I were in your position I could only ask your friend's daughter if she'd like to talk and if she wanted to hear about my journey. I absolutely understand what you mean about "do you have the right to interfere with another woman's decision?". And that puts you in a difficult position. 

Maybe you could approach your friend's daughter and explain that her Mum has asked you to talk with her. Maybe an open - I'm here to listen if you want to talk - approach may work but only you know how receptive she may be to what you have to say. I'm sure that her Oncologist, Consultant, and breast care nurse will have already spoken to her about the path that she's currently choosing to follow and offered their advice on what they see as the best way forwards to tackle her diagnosis. 

Undoubtedly whatever path your friend's daughter chooses to take will not be an easy one. And I'm sure that your friend will need as much support as you can offer her as well. 

The nurse team will reply to your original post as soon as they can but if you think it may help you, your friend, or your friend's daughter to chat with them they're available on 0808 800 4040, 9 am to 5 pm. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Hiya Violetgirl, I'm so sorry your feeling this way. I really hope you won't leave and will give it another go as this really is a fab community full of lots of lovely people. Xx

Regarding your friends daughter, that is really difficult and I can totally understand why your feeling like this. It's putting you on the spot and you probs don't want to interfere and sway her..

I agree with Jenn, you could always talk to her and say that she can talk to you about it. Or you could write to her and just say if she needs you then your door is open. It's a really difficult situation for everyone. But I wouldn't feel very comfortable asking her to reconsider her choice out of the blue either.

I'm sorry I can't help you much with this.

Sending you lots of love and hugs Xxx

Love Jess xx

Hi Moderator Jenn,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you've had a cancer journey of your own and that you have family going through this as well. 

Sending you and your loved ones big hugs and love ️

Love Jess xx

Hi probably others have red your post but like you don't know best option, wether to be gentle or be true but hurt your friends daughter, don't realise if she understands CBD oil is only a pain killer nothing else,so no way will it fight cancer.

Sorry not replying sooner thought others in similar cercemstances would reply to you , but I understand that your friend being worried but putting it on your shoulders isn't a good idea as you don't want it to affect your friendship with either your friend or her daughter .

Thinking of myself i would go in guns blazing with the hard truth  . Hope you can persuade her .

Billy

Hi,

Sent a reply in the 'Ask a Nurse' post.

Jane x

Hello Violetgirl

I'm sorry to hear about your experience on this forum and hopefully now you've had a better experience with this community. I definitely appreciated your lovely words on my post.

I am sorry to hear about your friends experience and her daughter's diagnosis. It's not an easy journey and I hope everyone is doing okay in such difficult times. My mum's at a bad stage, where's she in a nursing home at the end of life and  even asking for drugs to help to living. Hearing it so hurtful but I've never been in such pain to comprehend such request and understand although its difficult. Thankfully this isnt availbable here otherwise it could look different right now and trying to make it a comfortable loving as I can. 

I hope whatever happens you all find strenght in one another and look after yourself xx

Thank you so much Savy.  I was feeling very sad and lonely when I wrote this post, but I have since discovered that there is a very nice community of folks on here who help each other even though they are going through so much trauma themselves.  I am truly sorry about your Mother, I lost my mum to cancer and I know how it feels.  Sending you much love and hugs, and always remember Savy, that YOU are the one who is with your mother in her time of need,  never let anyone in your family try to make you feel you have not done enough........you have truly stepped up to the plate for your Mother, take care, Violet, xx