Hello khugs; welcome to the forum.  I am so sorry that you lost your mum; while it is a blessing that she did not suffer it means that the shock and speed of her decline have found a home in you - and other family members who loved her.  Of course I don't know your family situation but I hope that have at least one person with whom you can meaningfully discuss your sorrow  I imagine you have already been told to take things one day at a time but it is good advice - you cannot look too far forward as there is a big hole where your mum should be.  After many years I still sometimes talk out loud to  my mum .  I ask her opinion (obviously I don't get it but can imagine her response in whatever the situation is).  While your mum is no longer physically with you the old cliche is true; she is in your heart and mind.  Be kind to yourself.  Annie

Thanks for the reply Annie. I am very lucky to have a great husband who also loved my mum dearly so we do speak about her all the time. Its just so hard. Thats so true about our mums being in our hearts and minds forever. This forum is helping me come to terms with the loss. Thanks again xxx

Hi, I feel exactly the same as you , I lost my mum on the 4th January , I feel completly empty and lost . Just to say I'm thinking of you xx

Hi Khugs,

I'm so sorry for your lost. I can't imagine what it feels like to lose a mother.
You are probably still in shock, and although I don't understand much about losing someone, I think it's something that unfortunately never goes away. I guess the pain is enormous because your love was enormous too...
It's difficult that we lose control of such important things... That's what cancer teaches us... That we are impotent and cannot do much...I think it's ok for you to cry and to grieve, it is normal that it takes some time to heal. I know it feels unbearable, but unfourtunately it is a terrible situation, so the feelings you have are normal... Only if you were a psycopath you wouldn't feel that pain...I also I'm sure that you are not alone, even if that is what feels like. A lot of people here are going through the same, and I'm sure other people loved your mother and feel some kind of pain. 
I hope that with time you will feel better and have more joy in your life. But I understand it's not easy.

Take care**