Thank you. I'm going to read it now kerry 

Right now I'd take anything to help me feel better! I lost my wife at the end of November after she endured a two and a half year fight against Triple Negative Breast cancer.

My mind is occupied with so many negative thoughts at the moment and I can't seem to pull myself out of that. There are so many things wrong about losing my wife, and it is just pushing me under because I can't stop thinking about her. I'm completely exhausted and burnt out, I cant sleep or concentrate on anything and I feel like my life has been destroyed. I miss her terribly.

I have been seeing counsellors, but their input doesn't change a thing, I feel that its down to me to get out of this hole, but I just can't find the strength or mind-set to enable me to do that.

James

I can’t imagine what you have been through losing a wife but I know the pain and utter dispar and grief of losing a loved one. My amazing mum, my best friend, died last September of brain cancer. I was so distraught that I gave up on life. I have 2 beautiful children and an amazing husband but that meant nothing. I had to seek professional help from a mental health team as I didn’t want to live anymore. After antidepressants and getting through the cycle of grief I was able to operate. I have managed, god what does that mean, to cope with the loss and empathy gets me through. I am having a dip at the moment as I miss her unbelievably. My anxiety and depression has returned, but I am able to keep it under control. I have written this so many times but never posted it. My heart goes out to you. But I will say that you will get through and come out the other end. I can’t say ‘I know how you feel’ because you have lost your wife but I can say that I know how grief feels. I am sure you were there until the end supporting and comforting your wife. I am so proud and honoured to have been there when my mum took her last breath. Don’t underestimate your stength x

Hi James. . You are in the right place on here.  You should talk to a member called Paulus.  I've tried to tag him but can't.  Please know that November is no time at all. . And honestly the beating yourself up.  The anger. . The obsession of what more could have been done.  The no mores. . The disbelief. . Its all a process . It lierally causes temporary insanity. . Every minute of every day is consumed with thoughts of them. .And I'm at the stage of unless a councillor can turn back the hands of time then what would be the point. . But. . Also Know that losing someone you've loved so much for so long its going to literally shake you awake into someone you don't recognise and have never known. I think it's all normal. . And only time will help us move into a place of quiet acceptance where talk therapy may help then.  I resist going to sleep in order not to have to wake and relive the reality of the ending for me. . You'll get so much perspective on here and you are not alone. . God bless 

Hi there sorry about loosing your wife your emotionaly exhausted you just have to hang on tiny steps its only been a few months for you and the mentle energy you have been using and have lost you would not beleive the guilt is all about being emotionaly exhausted your lodgical side of your brain just dosnt have enough to fight the emotional side you just have to hold on sleep depravation makes it worse i was like you blaming myself but as times gone by ime realising why on earth should i feel guilty when i did so much like you did everything you could you know it and the most important thing is your wife new it so i went to gp and she gave me somting just to relax and sleep that helped it was only short term but enough even the strongest of us and you seem to be one of them need help try and deal with it yourself and the pain lasts longer you may think councilings not helping but you have to stick at it if theres t bereavement group try that anything that gets you out helps and talking to us hold onto the thaufht that this rotton pain and loneliness does go how long is up to you realy all these things helped me but of course ime only a layman but ive had grief a number of times so keep hanging on day by day minutes by minutes  and you will get out of that hole kk is right we go bonkers but it dosnt last .paul