my dad had terminal cancer not sure how long gets weaker every day but not in too much pain, what I would like to know and have some advice on is why I cry so much like I’m grieving but he’s still here? Any help would be appreciated
Sadly, what you are going through is fairly normal. It is called anticipatory grief.
I realise knowing it has a name won't help, but it might help you to know that many of us have gone through something similar. The important thing is to acknowledge it without letting it completely ruin what time you have left with your Dad.
I am going through the same as you. My Dad is dying and i cry everyday. If he talks about his cancer i cry , when someone asks how he is i cry. I don't know why either. But i think its because we don't want them to leave us . I told him i will miss him so much , even crying replying to you. I think its something we both are unable to control at the moment. All the best luv
As Davek said above, it is anticipatory grief you're going through right now. Like you, I went through the same type of grief and I can explain some of the reasons why you may be feeling this way already.
When my Dad was diagnosed back in April 2015 we were told that his cancer had already spread and he was incurable. And one day 'incurable' will eventually turn into 'terminal' and yes he would die from his cancer. I immediately started grieving and continued to grieve all throughout my Dad's battle. I was grieving for the future that he won't be part of, all the things he will miss out on both big and little, grieving for the Dad who used to be well, grieving for how things used to be before he got cancer, grieving for the fact my Dad was going to die sooner than expected. This is why we grieve because we know what is yet to come. Life isn't the same anymore. It is perfectly normal to feel this way whilst your Dad is still here. Definitely try not to let it take over and spend as much time as you can with your Dad without him seeing how much you're hurting, as that won't be easy for him at all. My grief is sadly no longer anticipatory and I am now going through the real thing since August (4 months ago) when my Dad sadly passed away.
If you do feel you would like to talk to someone who has been through it all then please feel free to message me.
