I lost one Gran to cancer in 2016. I loved her so much and, having had a difficult childhood, always felt like she was one of the only people I knew would always be there. I have coped terribly with grief and last summer got to a point where I felt I could not go on any longer. Now, my other Gran has cancer and I believe we will lose her very soon. I cannot stop crying or thinking about it and I am terrified of experiencing the grief all over again. I have always had depression and grief has made it so much worse; I wonder if the weight of it will ever get easier.