I noticed you haven't had a reply yet and didn't want to read and leave without saying hello when you sounded stressed. I'm not sure if you are weary of grief and wish you could just let go or if you feel that there's no end to it. I hope you find some peace for yourself.
How can you let your father go and just stop grieving? Not an easy question to answer. Grief is so individual and personal and you can't just flick a switch and have it stop. Sometimes people think that there's a timetable to grief but there isn't. Some people think that grief should only last "so long" then that's it. Done. Finished. Time to move on. I still have tearful days (and weeks) over 3 years after my loss. Some people pick themselves up more quickly than others. When you're overwhelmed by your grief it can feel like a merry go round that you just can't get off, going round and round and never feeling as though it's going to get better. It does get more manageable. If you're really struggling then perhaps you could speak to your GP or later cal hospice. They often provide councillor which you might find helpful in making sense of how you're feeling?
Hi Matt. . You can't. . You truly have to ride the waves of all the the confusing emotions and take the good days when they come. . And give in to the bad. . And then somewhere in the future you wake to realise that not only have you survived the loss of that one person. . That individual,missing, who's left the world feeling empty. . I think one day in the future you just notice that you don't hurt as much. Your new way of life becomes familiar and you laugh at something once more. . I think there's grief as we imagine it and grief as it really is. . And I think it's pretty much the same as recovery. . I wish you a peaceful mind in this most heart wrenching time. . Cry when you must. For me it's a release valve and clears something inside x
I have also lost a parent so I can relate to you. I know how hard this is xx
I don’t suppose there is a way to just stop grieving, unfortunately...it’s a process...I’m a few years on from losing my Mum and I can tell you that it does get better although...I couldn’t imagine a time when it would get better when I was in the thick of it.
Some people need a bit of help to get them moving along the process and some people can get stuck at certain stages. It’s already been suggested to you - GP or counselling. I think your GP would be a really good start (don’t be afraid of going to see them or telling them...many other men will have visited them for the same thing).
Of course you’re always welcome on this site if you ever need a chat - there are some great people here (sadly, many of whom have gone through the same as us).
