Hi chrissie. 

That was lovely right from the heart, i know men aren't supposed to cry but my eyes were wet. 

Billy x 

Such a heartfelt and beautiful piece of writing, yet so sad too.

Started me off crying too. Great raw blubs... Got to stay positive but oh how our losses hurt. Love, hugs and all the hope I can give for better luck in the on-going Cancer fights. 

You are all far braver than me. So very very brave, especially Jess.

Love Sunny xx

Thanks Billy...

Think my niece has similar cancer to yours ... so fingers crossed she kicks it's butt as long as you my friend ... your amazing ... sorry not chatted much but been really hard right now ... but will message ya soon as I feel a little stronger...

Hi there Sunny ...

Wer all scared stiff at times hunny ... but I've learned to let it all out ... and get back on track the following day ... it's not my poem, but one I've kept for a while ...

Your so right and thank you, Jess was totally awsome ... no way could I have been half as brave as her .. just wish I'd had a last hug ... but she kicked cancer right to the end , with a smile that was second to none ... and I'm taking that smile with me ...

I'm just going through the angry stage right now, as for a year her Dr on many occasions said it was iron deficiency and fobbed her off .. they never even tested for it ... caught sooner who knows ... but it was A and E that knew what it was ... 

So don't underestimate yourself sunny ... you've come a long way....  big hugs to everyone touched by cancer ....Chrissie 

Hi Chrissie,

So sorry to hear of the blue days... but I'd have been surprised if you hadn't been hit with strong grief torrents. Anger is always a difficult stage. It's one I've been through even without doctor's making mistakes. I've learnt not to ask "what if?" anymore except where there's hope of making changes for the better. It's good you've posted your concern. People need to be more aware sometimes without being frightened. And that can be a difficult line to tread.

I haven't been able to say goodbye to any of the people I lost. Different cruel circumstances across decades – different hospital rules. It makes grieving that bit harder, I feel. 

Look after yourself Chrissie. Lots of TLC - it's what Jess would want. It's okay to keep on boxing that doctor though just so long as it's in your dreams.  

Sending you big virtual hugs. Love Sunny xx

Dear Chriss, still helping others in the midst of your pain.  Such a wonderful lady.  Much love, Carol x 

I'm proud to be your buddy ... and you have given me many of my promise to have a smile every day for something ... and I've often looked on your thread, and even when things go wrong and most would cuss .. you say something that brings that much needed smile .. you don't realise just how awesome you are ...  so we'll keep on keeping on ... if you know what I mean ... 

Coz we know cancer doesnt want us strong ... or looking it in the eye ... well it won't ever take our sense of humour ... so my dear vertual buddy ... thanks for your lovely words ... Chrissie x x 

For Chriss

So hard to find a way to express feelings and emotions but you Chriss amongst the devastating sadness also shone a tremendous beacon of light full of hope.   You have always given such hope and inspiration such empathy and understanding such sound valued advice.

So sorry for the loss of your grandaughter Jess.

Best wishes to your beautiful neice.

Best wishes to you with a virtual hug xx

Beautiful poem Chriss. 
So sorry to read about the loss of your granddaughter ️xx

Hi there Leigh... 

Firstly thank you ... but I had an amazing mum, who taught me to try to help, not only those I love but strangers too ... she is so missed by all my family 30 years on, and my son's still put pictures of her on their face book ... so when I lost her, I wanted to carry on what she'd taught me .. unconditional love ..

I've just looked back on your threads, and your words touched my heart ... I don't know how I missed them ..

How are you doing now ... if it's still gets overwhelming there's a little book with something that helps me ... when that pain is a 10 out of ten ... sit down , close your eyes, and think of the funniest time with your wonderfull hubby you can .. or the memory you treasure most ... relive it ... slowly .. word for word ... how he looked... how you felt ... in slow motion .. play it over and over till you feel the pain being replaced by a good feeling ... then see how many out of 10 it feels then ...

Families are funny things .. your right, we all grieve so differently .. kids are the best .. most seem to cry or sob , missing someone then 10 minutes later,  they play or do something completely different... if only adults could do that ... men grieve differently to us women ... 

There's a choice we have, to hold on and allow everyone to grieve in their own way , but hold each other's hands .. or go in different directions .. hopefully in time you'll all find your way back ..

Please know you've not lost him... he just walks a step behind ... he watches you as you sleep .. and I bet he trys to tell you, he's o.k ... he's just waiting as it's not your time yet ... he'll see those little ones .. it's like the air we breath .. we can't see it, or touch it .. but it's right there ... 

If you see feathers at some point , or a smell of remembering .. or just the feel he's around ... have faith ... he's right there in your heart .. think you've made him very proud when you reach out too ... so take care ... sending a vertual hug winging its way over .... Chrissie