Hi there ...

So heartbreaking when we loose mum's \ dad's and close loved ones .. I lost both parents in my 30s .. 

Those early days are what I call the raw year .... You will have every emotion there is ... It's part of the grieving process .. it's your brain trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense .. there's no easy way through this .. it's part of being blessed to have had them in our lives ...

Yes the raw pain does lessen but we never stop missing them .. but remember she lives in your heart now.. she's safe there, and no one can take that away ... Every time you look in the mirror, she's right there... You are her, she made you ...

You know what your mum would say ... Shell watch over you ... I've felt my mum with me on my cancer journey, nearly 30 years down the line... I still look up at night and tell her what I want to say ..

Sending you a big vertual hug ... Be kind to yourself ... Chrissie x

Hello Lambchops72.  Your mum's illness and death must have been a terrible shock to you and it is quite normal for you to feel your life has suddenly fallen apart.  In one sense I hope that ignorance was bliss and that your mum did not suffer too much.  If you look through this website you will see that many others who have lost a loved parent - or other family member - are also finding coping difficult and you might find it helpful to "talk" with them.  If your mum has only passed recently you will still be in shock so please don't expect too much for yourself.  Although we know - in theory - that our parents are likely to die before we do it is also the case that we are never prepared for it.  Just do whatever feels right for yourself to help you cope.  I had a few items connected with my mum (still have them) which I kept together and talked as though to my mum when I looked at them.  I hope that you have good family and friends who can help you talk about this.  You have done the right thing by coming here and I do hope you will find it useful.  Annie