I've posted on here before. 

My dad has bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver. He was diagnosed 2 years this coming April. So he has been living with it for a little while and I'm extremely proud of how much of a fighter he is. To look at him you wouldn't even know he had cancer. But unfortunately he does. I know there will come a time when he won't be here any longer and that literally terrifies me. I'm 27 years old and I'm heartbroken that there will be certain events he will miss out on. Entering another new year fills me with dread and anxiety. Not knowing what this year will bring not just for my dad but for us as a family too. I try so hard not to think too far into the future but it's easier said than done! I'm really scared because I know things can change just like that with cancer. I have a 3 year old little boy and my dad absolutely adores him and vice versa, it hurts so much to know that one day my dad won't be there to see him grow up. I'm worried about my mum too, how will she cope. My auntie (mum's sister) lost her husband (my uncle) just over 2 years ago and hasn't been coping well at all, this has made me worry about how my mum will cope in the future. But I know we will just have to do our best to make sure she is OK. It's horrible when you know something is going to come but you don't know when etc it's like living with a permanent dark cloud above your head it's so depressing and hard. 

Just wanted to get this weight off my shoulders. Sometimes I feel it's good to just talk even if nobody can help or advise.