Hello MCLH, so sorry for your loss.  I know it is only words, but I truly feel for you.  I have lost so many family members to this disease, and am at stage 4 myself.  I agree with you that losing a husband is different.  My husband is also very ill, and I know this sounds awful, but we sometimes make jokes about which one of us is gonna fall off our perch first.  It's how we both deal with what is happening to us.  There's nothing I can say to make you feel better, but just to say that there are some real nice folks on here, whenever you need to vent or have a bit of a rant, take care mate, Violet, xx

Hi Violet,

Thank you for replying- I Am so sorry to hear that you are at stage 4 and your husband is so I'll too.  I like your sense of humour, that's how Mark and I were- you can't change what is happening so we just enjoyed the time we had and laughed and joked- I think it's all too easy to go down a deep dark path.

I hope you are both making memories and enjoying the small things in life.

Today I went to the funeral directors to pick up the rest of the donations for St Giles and makes the total raised just over 3k which is just incredible xx

Thank you mate, yes we are busy making memories.  We are growing our own tomatoes and potatoes in the garden, which, for a London girl like me (who nows lives in the countryside) is a bit of a miracle.......I thought all tomatoes and potatoes came from Sainsbury's shelves!!!!!!

How wonderful that you have raised 3 thousand for St. Giles, what a lovely tribute for your husband.  You are so right, it is very easy to go down a dark path, and the main thing is that we make the most of life while we still can.  I like your attitude MLCH, and it is that strength of character that will get you through the days and months ahead.   Good luck to you, sending love and virtual hugs, Violet, xxx

Hi MLCH,

So sorry to read your story... I lost my 43 year old husband on 26th May 2022 to rectal cancer. I too am lost.  I don't have answers but just want to let you know that you're not alone.

Sending you lots of hugs xxx

Hi Els78,

I am so so sorry for your loss too- I don't know how long your husband was ill for but I hope that you were able to spend time with him and say all the things you wanted to say.  I have just been taking time off work to reflect on the last 2 years and trying to find me again. I miss Mark every single day and my heart is so broken without him but I remember all our good times and take comfort in these. I've been sorting out a sea of paperwork but also taking time out to spend with family and friends.  The next big test will be in a few weeks when I put Marks ashes in his final resting place- dreading every moment but trying to take comfort that he will be where he wants to be, over looking the sea- big love and hugs to you- here for you xx

I am sorry for your loss. My husband has stage 3 rectal cancer. I am so anxious about everything. He is just now in chemo radiation then surgery, then more chemo, 

Hiw long was your husband i'll? Did they catch it late?

I am so sorry for your loss. I can imagine it takes time to heal and come to terms with the new reality. Did you guys have any kids?

Hi,

no we didn't have any kids but that was going to be our next chapter before the diagnosis.  I hope they have caught your husbands cancer early and that with treatment and surgery he can beat this x

Not very early but not in the worst stage. Stage 3. I know it can swing either  way. I lost my beloved sister to cancer three years ago. I have too much experience with the cancer world to be too optimistic ‍♀️

I am quite dreading the surgery. His is in rectum and they said they will need remove entire rectum and anus and he will be left with permanent stoma. It must be quite a major surgery. After all that treatment before hand I hope he will be able to recover well. It will happen in September sometimes. 

Right now we have a summer break (I teach) but on 12.7. schools repoens and I will need to find a new rythm with it all. Sorry for a bit of off load here :) 

Don't apologise for off loading - I hope that work is a distraction for you - sending positive thoughts to you and your husband, let's hope he can beat this! Xx