i was diagnosed in Dec 16 with stage 3 breast cancer, HER2+, oestrogen +, lymph nodes affected. I had 8 rounds of chemo, developed heart problems from herceptin (6 rounds still to go), after surgery developed a seroma which burst and didn't heal for 14 weeks, had 33 radiotherapy sessions and started tamoxifen which has put me into chemical menopause. My libido seems to have disappeared and I'm suffering pretty severe intimacy problems.
i had a full response to chemo and clear margins at surgery. I know I am really lucky, so why do I feel so tearful and exhausted? My family has been amazing throughout but sometimes I feel that they don't understand the fear and also how much cancer has changed my life.
I feel ugly and unfeminine, I no longer want to go to work ( I barely missed a day even during chemo when I was pretty sick) - Im self employed so I don't have much choice. I've always loved working and so this feeling is very unsettling. I used to be a distance amateur runner and miss the sport and social life. People say things like "well, it's not good for your joints as you get older". I know they want to help but I feel like screaming. I'm fed up of feeling exhausted, of taking pills and saying I'm fine. I'm struggling to cope with the blood tests and scans, it's like living with the fear of it coming back.
i know some of this is normal but I would really appreciate some advice. I feel like I'm being really selfish as I know all my family have suffered but I think if it was nt for my dog I would just disappear for a few months.
Do I just muddle through or can anyone offer any coping strategies?
Thankyou so much.
