My dad was diagnosed with end stage mesothelioma of the lungs in January and he is now sleeping all the time, lost his interest in conversation and appetite has gone. His decline in health is moving along so fast and the pain of watching him go through this is unbearable. Watching my mums emotions and anguish adds to my pain also and I feel guilt and silly for crying all the time as I know there is worse to come and feel I should be reserving my crying time for when it's needed when he gets worse. Today I took a day off work as I couldn't be bothered listening to all the trivial complaints my patients have (I'm a nurse practitioner) but then feel bad because to them, their problem is important. I cry at work, in the car, dream about the cancer and I am shattered. I'm not sure how you are meant to feel in times like this, as there's no text book to guide you on how you should react. I feel guilty for wishing he would die quickly so that he doesn't need to go through what's coming and I feel a burden to others as I'm struggling to find my cheeky spark I'm renound for. Is all this normal?
I want to also ask the question, when your loved one sleeps 80%of the time, eats very little and withdraws, does that mean weeks or months left? I can't bear the thought of months of this anguish.
