Hi Janbuck,

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's prognosis. I may be wrong, but I suspect that your husband may be trying to distance himself from you to give you the chance to take over his role, as well as your own within the family. He probably feels better for seeing that you can manage without him. This sounds cruel I know, but our spouses worry about how we'll cope after they are no longer here.

I cared for my mum for 12 years with breast cancer, which metastasised into brain, bones, liver and lungs. For the past 7 years I have struggled with breast cancer myself. I had a second bout 6 years ago.

I have certainly tried to show my hubby how to do various household chores for himself. He is a very private man and not the most sociable, although he has a heart of gold. He is happy to go to social events when I am with him, but I have been encouraging him to join various clubs, etc,on his own,  in the hope that he will keep these up after I am gone.

You are certainly not at all selfish to miss your husband's attention. You say that you talk about everything. Have you discussed how you feel with him?

I do hope that you can rekindle his caring ways and that this will make you feel better.

Please stay in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Janbuck,

I'm glad to hear that you have already discussed this with your husband. He has obviously attended to all the practical matters, but you need his emotional support. I am glad to hear that you have a good support network behind you.

Remember that he is a very ill man, so may not be able to comfort you in the same way as he used to. You may find that you need to be the strong one now more than ever.

I do hope that you can get this sorted out between you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx