Rebecca,

I am sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. Anticipating the loss and losing a parent is the worst thing I've been through. My advice to you is to spend every moment you can with him, tell him you love him and hold his hand. Also, get some counseling if you can, it will help.  I will pray for strength to come to you during this time.

Laura x

I lost my darling daddy nearly a year ago now the pain doesnt get any easier even though people say it does it doesnt i miss my dad every day i still cry even typing this i got tears in my eyes. Im just glad i  was there holding my dads hand until he took his very last breath he wasnt alone he was surrounded by the ones who loved him the most. Cancer really is a awful illness seeing my dad suffer and die infront of me will live with me forever and is the worst thing ive ever had to go through i just hope he wasnt scared because that always crosses my mind he always stayed so strong infront of us never showed sadness or weakness. I miss him so much wish i could hug him one last time. To think i have to go on my life without a dad is the worst feeling ever! I was so lucky to have him and call daddy. Not a minute goes by where i dont think about him. Im here if you wanna chat because i understand exactly what your going through xx

My brother in law was given months to live and we are now three years on. The journey has been very tough but we have had some lovely times as well. Don’t waste time grieving before you need to, help and support him with as much positivity as you can. The lack of hope is the worst thing to contend with so convince him and yourself that miracles do sometimes happen . 

I am soo happy to hear the great news about your brother in law ! Thankyou very much for replying back and what you have said has really given me hope , and helps me to think a lot more positively rather than constantly dwelling on the situation . I really do hope we have a miracle as your story definitely proves that miracles do happen x

Hey, thankyou for replying ! And most of all I am so sorry for your loss , I can’t think of anything to say :( . In situations like this I find it very hard to talk to people and I struggle on things to say , so I do apologise ! 

A lot of people on here tell me to spend every moment with Hun , hold his hand , tell him how much I love him . But I struggle do that as I don’t want to upset him by showing that I’m upset if that makes any sense ? And I know that my father wouldn’t want me to spend all day and night with him , as he would want me to live life like I always have . It’s such a horrible situation to be in. Everyone knows that your parents aren’t always going to be here , but you just never think that it’s going to happen to you . 

Whenever you need someone to talk to ! Don’t hesitate to message me . ( sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who you don’t really know ) hugs and kisses xx

Hello Laura . 

Thankyou very much for your kind words they are really appreciated . It’s nice to talk to people and yourself to get things off my chest as I find that not many people understand what I’m going through so thankyou x

Sorry about what's happening to your family Laura, I think I remember your initial post.

It's so easy to start grieving before we even lose someone but it's important to not let yourself do that.  As others have said you really want to make the most of the time you have left with your father, there is plenty of time to grieve when people pass, but having special moments with them is always time-limited.

I've been lucky enough to not lose a parent yet, but we have nearly lost my mum twice to breast cancer and we had 6 weeks some years back now where my dad was touch and go with silent pneumonia.  All those situations drove home the need to have quality time with loved ones when they are alive.

I totally get that you are concerned about your father seeing that you are upset.  All I can say is that mind over matter can help with situations like that.  While knowing what is ultimately coming you can still genuinely enjoy time talking with your father, because it's what is best for both of you that you enjoy each other's company while you can.  We managed to do this when my gran was dying.  Despite what seemed like (and technically was) a very sad situation, we were genuinely just enjoying every extra minute we got to spend in her presence, re-telling old funny stories etc.  And it is possible to find enjoyment in knowing your loved one is spending their last days surrounded by those that love them.  We can have genuine enjoyment while also grieving, such is our complicated makeup.

Even if you can't manage to hide your upset, it's still best that you have the time with him.

LJx

Hi rebecca94. 

I am currenfly in the same situation, it’s horrible and all you want and seem to do is cry. I can’t seem to get the feeling of why him out of my head, but I know it’s hard but the only thing you can do. Is be there for him, ensure him you love him and make the last part of his life enjoyable if possible.

im only 19, and I know no matter age it’s heart breaking but I am struggling really how to show emotion. Especially being around family I don’t want to cry and upset them so seem to just be crying alone.

if you ever want to chat let me know? X

Hey catty1234 , I’m so sorry to hear about your father if you want you can private message me or add me on social media x

Hiya. 

I have requested to be friends on here.

would be great to talk, thank you! Xx