Hello, Firstly I'm so very sorry to hear about your Father...I have literally posted for the first time too tonight as my father is dying of stage 4 lung and liver cancer ( you will see my post). My Dad's mental state has changed rapidly. He forgets things he has talked about constantly for years, he forgets names of family and gets confused. He also gets snappy and cross when we don't understand what he is talking about and the cries when he thinks he is in wrong or because he feels like he's being a burden ( obviously he would never be that to us !) It's devastating to see a man whom was full of life, a little chunky, young looking and so with it deteriorate so very quickly to this shell of a person with a body resembling a skeleton. I'm sorry I can't offer advice as I too am looking for some but I am here if ever you need to talk xx

Hi there Ana,

Well my expierance is different, yet the same ... my big sis is in late stage dementure ... and she's gone from being the anchor in our family, to not being able to put a setance together .. and feeling really angry and swears so much, where she never ever swore ... it backs my heart each time I see her ...

But last time I played music to her .. Bill Hayley s   rock around the clock ..and others like it .. well her toes started moving .. and then her fingers .. then she was singing along to it, word for word .. only telling me to be quiet so she could hear the music .. she came back for a while .. and I was remembering how her and bro in law loved to jive and do the twist .. we had a lovely hour ..

Remember, they are there, just they can't communicate like they did .. l just think even holding their hands and just talk like you would .. they may hear you ... I played hay little hen to a lady in her nursing home, who never says a word .. she's skin and bone, but I see her beauty ... I look beond ... and you know she sang it too ... it's just finding a way .. and holing on .. and walking whatever path they find their selfs on ... sending you a vertual hug ... Chrissie

Hi Ana , I lost my lovely dad yesterday to lung cancer he was told 7 weeks ago after he had a fall & broke his hip , it’s been awful watching someone you love suffer lose there dignity , confused & lose so much weight not eating or drinking ,  heartbreaking miss him so much Feel so numb 

Hi Ana,

iI’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I wish I could give you some advice. It’s thin in the ground me thinks. 

My dad is going through exactly the same. He has pancreatic cancer which has spread to his lungs. I’m home for the weekend- live a long way from his home now- and I didn’t realise how bad he is. I just said to my mum that I think the cancer has spread to his bones and she said she knew exactly what was happening.

I ask myself why she couldn’t tell us, but only she knows the answer. She’s been living with him getting worse like this since December last year.

When looking for help wth what to do with him tonight - do I call an ambulance because the hospice isn’t open and he’s in such pain - I came across your post.

When has it reached the stage of having to do something to help him feel less pain. Now I think!

Thank you for posting, and sending big hugs  

Hello rid

I lost my Mum in January this year to Pancreatic Cancer. Mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 PC on 2nd January and died on 31st Jan.  It was so quick and Mum was put on Syringe Driver on 17th Jan as the pain was bad and terminal agitation. Apparently PC has one of the worst pain symptoms.  21st Jan Mum lost her mobility and we had to sit and watch Mum fade away.  I made sure Mum was comfortable and held her hand until the end.