I'm 29 and was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma 6 weeks ago. I was pushed to do a course of fertility treatment before I start chemo as a backup for the future as the chemo might affect my fertility or worse, make me infertile. 

I went to all the appointments, did the two weeks of daily injections and even went to day surgery and had general anaesthetic (despite having a tumour in my chest cavity). Only after the anaesthetic wore off the consultant came to me and said it didn't work- they couldn't get any eggs as I hadn't responded to treatment well enough. She couldn't say why it didn't work either the prep was rushed and it just didn't take or because I have cancer i just didn't respond to it properly. I was absolutely devastated. I know there's no guarantee that chemo will effect my fertility but this was my safeguard against that and it didn't work .I'm no closer to knowing if I can have children but I don't have time to try again as I need to start chemo. I'm scared it's going to be horrendous although I have read lots of comments on here that is isn't as bad as imagined. I just feel very low and like I failed myself. Not only do I have cancer and have to talk about chemo instead of planning my 30th but the one chance I had of securing children in my future is gone. What if that was it? I'm trying to stay rational and focus on the challenge ahead but I can't stop thinking I've failed myself about fertility what if I fail at chemo too?? 

Please help me feel grounded again