Hey Chrissie, 

You are not alone, everyone in the world has felt lost and alone at one point or another and there is no feeling quite like it, it’s hardbreaking and dangerous or so I feel :/ I agree with you completely no person should have to feel this way. It weakens the heart and hurts the soul I believe. When it comes to being able to reach everyone, I’m not quite sure. We would need to reach out to everyone, or make a clear pathway that everyone could find to getting this such important information and advice. I will have a think on ideas but one thing is for sure you have a helper right here :) 

Bex x 

Thanks bexi

I need more info from people that have been through this .. where things could improve... what would have helped .. esp from carers and family that had no support or a family to look after too and no time to look for help ...  who felt let down in some way .. or just different views .. 

We can make a change .. this chat room makes lots of people feel included... but lots don't even know .. please help with any info ... or it will just disappear... 

Thanks Chrissie...

I know this is not the answer you are looking for but I am amazed at the caring people on this webiste and the comfort they give. I am a cancer survivor and I have lost several people to the disease; what I read on here has helped me immensely. Whether it is kind words to me directly or the words to someone I don't know, it is constant part of my journey, of healing. 

I think one thing we can do to help the 10% is to keep responding to people on here and offering our support, even if we can't relate to their situation personally. Also, a lot of religious organizations have (free) groups that meet to discuss loss of a loved one - maybe including that kind information on here would be helpful, too.

Laura x

What a caring and thoughtful thread Chriss. I completely understand what you mean as I have found myself worrying before that despite our collective best efforts some people may still feel lost  or that they haven't managed to find all the information they need. We will make a note of your comments and really appreciate all your feedback.

But above all we really value all your contributions on this forum. You have brightened the days of so many people and you can be proud of that. It is thanks to people like you, LauraP and so many others on this forum - who have in one way or another been affected by cancer -  that members posting here for the first time can feel welcomed immediately and supported at a time when they need it the most. 

So thank you for everything.  You are undeniably helping make the world a better and far less lonely place. 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Oh Lucie. .

I've really been touched by your reply .. I do worry sometimes about overstepping a mark ... but I really believe it is possible to not change things ... just fill in some gaps ... one lass on here trying to cope full time for her mum with a terminal diagnosis .. while having two small children to care for .. and she was so mentally exorsted as well as pysicaly ... she didn't have no time to go finding help.. filling in forms .. 

I would love them to have a number, when they fall through the cracks .. where there could be someone that says .. what do you need .. what would help you ... it could be run by volunteers I'm sure ... so I'm gonna find the head office numbers of charities .. and I'll make a print out of things that we could do for people struggling .. not info books .. they are put in a draw or forgotten .. just a envelope with local and national numbers .. 

I'm a big advocate of McMillan,  but too many have felt let down .. I'm sure with some tweaking and info from those feeling let down .. they would do things to put that right ...

Thank you again .. you don't know how much that means to me .. and I'm just one little part of a wonderfull bunch of guys and lasses .. that are giving something back .. as crule as cancer is.. without it I would never have come on here and known the best bunch ever ... here's to cancer research chat going from strength to strength ..  big hug to all ... Chrissie

Hi Laura ...

Thank you for your input ... l know we help on here .. my worry is those that don't know where to turn .. once on here we can direct them .. but sometimes they still get unheard through no felt of any one .. it just happens .. the system just needs tweaking ..

If you can think of anything .. I'm trying to get info from people who feel they have no where to turn, and no one was listening .. and alone ... so thanks again .. let's keep on, doing the best we can .. your a star .. Chrissie xx

Chris,  this is a brilliant thoughtful idea.  Before Norman was diagnosed I volunteered for a mental health trust as a carer and with inside knowledge,  which we all have, having gone through the cancer trauma our collective ideas should form a cohesive line of people to contact.   I'm sure the moderators can use their input,  so let's go for it.  Carol

Hay carol , you star ... i know i cant change huge things .. but so sure we can make a difference to the few who have no one to support them .. im going to get ideas on my comp tomoz ... and ill get back to see what everyone thinks .. just need to know who to send this info too ..

I'm sure Lucie will help too .. I'd go anywhere... meet anyone ... to move this forward ... thanks so much for your support ... Chrissie 

It's actually amazing what you can achieve, when I worked for thee mental health trust I became really well known Sue to the medical profession admitting they only saw things from the trust point of view.  Even something as simple as them suggesting putting stools in kitchens for dementia patients,  I pointed out they wouldn't just sit on them, they would use them to reach things by standing on them, this had never crosses their minds!  Unfortunately when Norman was diagnosed I had to withdraw but I may well go back, now he is stable.  We maybe need more headings, that then take you in the right direction, like a pyramid listing help lines for the special help they need.  I'm talking about the pyramid  that was used in selling goods many years ago.  For example, Young People, log onto that and a list of helpful phone numbers  or Web sites for them.  Or the worried well who should really be seeing their GP when they haven't been diagnosed.   Men seem to struggle greatly with wives who have been diagnosed, coping with money,  family, jobs etc.   I have come across a lot who don't know there is money available to claim, because they are asking questions that don't include this query, that then means they have more work to do trying to find the site.  Just a few thoughts to start with. Xx

Hi and been out today... but got a few ideas .. been on Marie Currie site .. I thought they only did night respite ... but there's so much great info and help on their site .. I'm going to give them a ring tomorrow .. they ask for feedback .. and want suggestions. . So there's a start ... 

I just want a number that can fast track someone with no help and they get back to them .. but any help will make a difference ...and thats a great question ..what you've said about the law says you have to inquire about benifits, they are not alowed to advise without it .. so if we can do something for the original task .. im gonna find out if its possible to change the law and actually inform people with cancer or esp termanally ill without their need to ask ..

Cancer research are brill with info on their search engine ... and our chat room grows stronger ... and their free phone, helps lots .. McMillan are amazing in most areas , but are failing quite a few ... I'll be writting to them .. to see if they can tweak some of those areas .. and can't wait to talk to Marie Currie ... got a brill feeling there ... and thanks to our moderator Lucie ... her support can help make a difference on here ...

So thanks for all your support Caz .. any more ideas you have will be most welcome ...

Feel a bit like "wolfie Smith " Lol ... do you remember him ... well be mark 2 of "the tooting popular front" 

Chrissie