Hi Friday,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry for the reasons that have brought you here.

You are going through so much, it is no wonder that you feel at the end of your tether. Was your GP helpful when you visited and told him how you felt?

I am sure that your daughter will be a great help to you and you to her. It is always useful to have someone who knows what you are going through to support you. Do you attend your husband's appointments with him? It is always helpful to have someone with you at all appointments. It is also a good idea to draw up a list of questions prior to each appointment.

Life is never fair, but we don't always appreciate this until we find ourselves at the receiving end of something like cancer. This quickly shows where our priorities lie.

I have lost both of my parents and several relatives and close friends to cancer and, have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 8 years. Like you, I felt that there were times when I couldn't cope any more. They say that life doesn't throw at you any more than you can cope with. I was pretty close to giving up at times, but made it through, as I'm sure you will too.

How are your son-in-law and husband coping with their diagnoses? The sad thing about a cancer diagnosis is that it doesn't only affect the patient - it impinges on the entire family.

Try not to focus on the poor outlook, but cherish each day you have together. Make memories while you can. Would your son-in-law consider making a memory book for his two children? A number of people with limited time left do this. It is always something for young children to cherish.

I am sure that you will find this forum helpful, whether it's for advice, information or just to vent.

Please keep in touch. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for replying my husband is going through chemotherapy and radio now for bladder and anus two different cancers I go with him every appointment 2 hours there 2 hours back shouldn’t take that long but A14 all road works which I get myself all chewed up about that’s just me at moment he is coping really well my son in law has to stay in every 2 weeks for 3 nights because the chemotherapy is so harsh the hospital have never had a case before only been 30 recorded cases in world my daughter knows what the outcome is but he just seems to be in denial the children we are doing the best we can between us My GP has been good put me on happy pills didn’t want to go that route but had to Thank you again

Hi Friday,

Although none of us want to resort to happy pills, sometimes they are a necessity. I had to turn to them too, but for a different reason. I was having terrible night sweats and my breast care nurse suggested trying a tablet which she found had helped others in this situation. It didn't stop them altogether, but it made a huge difference. It has also helped with my emotions too and I have found it much easier to cope as a result.

I am glad to hear that your husband is coping so well. It can't be easy going through chemo and radiottherapy.The travelling alone is a bind. How many sessions of each is he due to have? I had to change my surgeon early on in my diagnosis and now have to travel to the other side of the city. It takes about the same time as it takes you. I am sure that it makes a big difference to your hubby to have you by his side at appointments. The main thing is that you are there whenever he is given bad news and can deal with it together.

Your poor son-in-law, it sounds as if he is really going through the mill. Do you know the name of the type of cancer he has? I myself have a rare form of breast cancer, which only affects 1% of people and, have found it very difficult to find out about it. Does he have many more chemo sessions to go? It must be very hard for your daughter when he is in denial. It cannot be easy looking after the children between all the hospital visits. What ages are they and do they know what is happening?

I really feel for all of you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

It is called sarcoma rhabdomoyosarcoma it normally affects baby’s they do not know why it has lay dormant for 31 years it started with migraines and many visits to GP to be told it was eye strain eventually got appointment at local hospital where he was told he had brain tumours blues and two to hospital then had 7 hour operation surgeons did a fabulous job as they had to take part of his skull away we were over the moon he came though operation but 2 days later got bomb shell the cancer was everywhere the children are 10 and 8 the kids aren’t stupid they know just got back from hospital with hubby have 6 more weeks every week day with one more chemo in the middle I hope you every best wishes and keep on fighting 

Hi Friday,

I totally agree with you. Children have big ears and can pick up on a conversation that they are not supposed to hear. At 10 & 8 they are old enough to pick up on any vibes too. They don’t need chapter and verse, just a simple explanation suffices.

You must both be exhausted going back and forth to the hospital every weekday for another 6 weeks. What a kick in the teeth for your son-in-law having got through such major surgery only to find that the cancer was widespread. Do you have any other family or is your daughter an only child?

I wish that I could do something to help you all out, but sadly, that’s not possible. I am however thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug I am always here with a listening ear.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Sorry I haven’t posted for a while but things have got no better son in law was planned to go for that horrible chem on Tuesday but needed blood transfusion which he had on Saturday migraine started again on Sunday ambulance to hospital on Tuesday top and bottom of it he only has weeks left he is at home now it is just *** I feel so guilty as I seem to be given all my attention to my daughter when my husband is suffering to what I am supposed to do hope you are keeping well I just hate the word cancer

Oh Friday,

This doesn't sound good at all. Your poor daughter and son-in-law. What a blow when he has been through so much to try and fight it. This is a cruel, cruel disease.

How is your husband coping with his treatment?

I am thinking of and  praying for you all.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

He is doing quite good one more chem on Monday and 8 more radio very sore with radio at moment but after radio has to wait 6 weeks for scan to see if it has worked but back to local hospital on 18th December for bladder I know it’s not about me but I just don’t know how much more I can take and this time of year not helping 

Hi Friday,

Somehow or other you will get through this. We always find reserve strength from somewhere. This is never easy at any time of year, but particularly in the run up to Christmas.

I am glad to hear that your husband is coping with his radiotherapy and chemo - not much longer to go now, then the dreaded 6 week wait.

I am praying that it has helped.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xxx