This post is just written to perfection how o lot of people feel thankyou

So true thanks in sharing with us take care x 

Hi Chris, 

Thanks for sharing those lovely words.

Through my woodclub ,I came across a couple who seemed to think their friend should be over losing her husband about four months ago. I had to remind them, we never really get over losing a loved one.for they have been a big part of our lives for a big part of our lives. They just said, we never looked at it like that before and thanked me for telling them this.

Take care, Brian

Thank you all of you who replied ... it means a lot, as I know what's right for some, might not be right for others... so sending everyone of us, as weve all lost someone weather new or latter ... we may learn to live with them not being in our lives but never stop missing them ..Chrissie

Yeah, this poem just about sums it up, thank you.  I think I'm just emerging from the pained daze and sinking slowly into true grief - my husband died on 4th June 2018 from duodenal cancer, aged 43.  He'd been given 3 to 6 months but managed just one - we never quite got to all the 'things' we planned to do, it came so quick.  We have two little girls who have kept me busy, we have so many loving friends and family supporting us.  I am so grateful for that and I know so many others do not have that and my heart goes out to them.  But now, when I suspect there are those that think I am probably starting to feel a little better (??!! yeah, what??), I really feel the loss is starting to kick in.  I can't believe this is it, he's really never coming back.  It would break me if I let it (which I cannot).  He was my soul mate, the father of my babies, I loved him dearly and I sometimes just cannot fathom this.  How did he end up with this rare and random cancer?  How can he have actually died already??  With it being the summer holidays, I haven't had much time to myself to properly 'let go', but I think that's what's needed, and I slightly dread it - when you really let the tears and feelings come it's such a bad place, everything feels so hopeless, but I know you have to go there to continue the journey, so to speak.  And I guess to stop yourself getting ill.  I have felt a 'lump in my throat' a lot this last week or two, from the need to cry.  I'm seeing a counsellor from our local hospice where he died, on Monday coming, so guessing that too will assist me in this oh so painful journey.  Day at a time, hour at a time, minute at a time, whatever works at that moment... that's all we can do.

My love and prayers go out to all who are in this heartbreaking, lonely place.  I wish you strength and comfort when you most need it xxxx

Hi there, 

I've lost many in my life, and grief is different for each one ... and I can so relate to your feelings of, that time when others think your doing o.k, but inside, something died with them ... but remember a part of them lives in us too .. we carry them, tucked up safely in our hearts ...

You was so blessed to have found that soul mate, and l believe when you love someone that much, they still look down from above ... they just watch us, until it's our time to see them again ... l never found a love like you had, only for my son's, parents, and wonderfull nieces (and my long gone dog) I've loved the two men that have been in my life, but will never know that love you had ..

Grief is there, for you to feel all those feelings, but in balance, don't cry 24/7 .. but don't hold it in ... and don't think your alone, because finding this place here, where everything your feeling, we've felt, one or other of us .. be kind to your heart, this is your time, to feel and do what you need to, to just get through one more day ... so my hunny, take your time, there will always be someone here who knows (not just guess) how you feel .. and we know it takes as long as it takes .. 

But that balance, will see you through, doing things even when you don't want too .. talking about "normal" stuff, though you just want to cry .. think of him before cancer, that was a tiny part of his life .. other wise cancer will beat you down too .. and like a great friend I met on here says... he has and is still like you, missing his soul mate, but says he won't let cancer make him a victim too .. 

So I'm sending you a big hug ... chrissie 

Thank you hun, Beautiful words of wisdom xx

[@Chriss]‍ - I stumbled across this a few weeks back when I had been lurking on the site after my grandma's death. The poem just sums it up so perfectly. There had been people making well-intended comments, such as "It was the right time" and even though it probably was, it was not what I wanted to hear when my grief was so raw.

Hi Chris, thank you for sharing the poem it describes  exactly how I feel at the moment and reminds me that it is ok to feel like I do! X

Just a little poem I found a long time ago ... I think that early raw grief is summed up in this little poem ... so for those I've lost this last 13 months it's for them to and all those in that raw pain to ... 

Here's to kicking cancers butt... big vertual hug to you all .... Chrissie xx