Hey there Pop90, 

Online support groups are a good way to let off steam. You can choose when you post, and sometimes just writing things down helps. It's a way of getting thoughts straight in your head, and the more you start to understand the way you feel, the more you can express things.

It's a sad fact that people don't always understand what someone else is going through, but if they can at least show they care, that's good. I use relaxation CDs and have in the past had counselling over the phone, which was really useful. Talking to some anonymous person I wouldn't bump into in everyday life felt safe.

Think about things you've enjoyed in the past, maybe listening to music, having a little dance, going for a walk. Simple pleasures. 

I hope you find some relief soon. Take care.

Regards, gamechanger

Hi gamechanger 

Thanks for the reply. I've tired to do my normal day to day things as I enjoy horse riding but I'm not very mobile as I've had the surgery in my groin.

Think I'm going to try and write things down in a book and get them off my chest.

I've spoke to one of my nurses today and think they are going to come to my house and see what they can do. I've never spoke to a professional before so hopefully it might help. 

Thanks for your advice 

Hiya.  It must feel very unfair that others are going about their lives without the worries that you are experiencing.  I know lots of people have their own crosses to bear and you are right to say that nobody understands another's problems unless they have been through them.   Glad you are getting some support as it sounds like you can sure welcome that.  Also if you can write things down, with total honesty , then that would be good for you and help others understand a bit more.  Keep talking with us if it helps you at all.  Best wishes.  Annie

Hi Annie, 

I no everyone is trying to help me but they all just keep saying ive got to rest but it is hard when I have a two year old boy to look after. 

I'm going to go and get a book today and see how I get on writing things down. Just everything within my day to see how it goes. I am going to try and stay in contact on here but I do struggle to open up sometimes. Hoping I will manage as I no other people are going through the same struggles as what I am. 

Thanks for your advice and time 

Hi again.  I can imagine that you are run off your feet with two year old!  Is there nobody who can help you.  Is his dad around?  Also do you live close to your family who will help out?  Sorry, I know this sounds obvious but sometimes you just have to ask questions to get a feel for the position.  If there is anyone who you would trust with your precious son then ask them; people like to help if you ask them.   

Let us know how you are getting on with your possible book plans; you could try just doing a  daily blog for starters?  Keep in touch.  Annie

Hi Pop90

Just read your posts yes it is hard going . especially as you have toddler any playgroup or nurseries near to give few hours free time I know another thing to sort out .I dont write things down byb I do use this forum and asvadv is always here .I use bowel cancer forum more as mine is advanced palliative treatment bowel and liver probably in operable.i started 2nd lot of chemo yesterday had break since January show good response both tumour but liver ond grown back little nasty .I find writing on here does help .had one councilling session at beginning I didn't find helpful to have stranger tell me n hubby why we felt like we did we know answer that one .I know they will offer councilling again see how I feel .MC millan phone for chat that's ok no face to see sympathetic smile .I have given up work at moment but meet regularly for coffee or meal with colleagues that's always nice .hope .do you drive I'm still able to drive short distance so that gets me out.hope you have some good days .I can't have alcohol as it's liver .nurse gave me details of wellness spa center local to me but there all across UK .for help with make putting on eyebrows etc and freebies she said it's available to all women with cancer I didn't know that thought was just for breast cancer ladies so may try that and no's for wigs etc blah blah I have gone on bit .but didn't sleep last night was too hot and brain too active needs settle again xx

Hi Annie, Yeh his dad is still around but works night shift. We have been fight a bit of late but he does help out when he can. My mam and dad take him alot for me at the minute as my skin is getting very sore with the radiotherapy

I'm still unsure what to write in it, just what I do with my day and how I feel? 

Appreciate your help 

Hi tiger cub, 

I'm rather lucky, I got my son into a nursery after the easter so he's settled in to that rather nicely and I get 3 hours break from running round after him, he is very much a mammys boy.

I had one counciling session but didn't feel it helped, going to give it another go and see what happens but don't feel like I will open up very much. 

So far I feel I bit better talking to people on here as they have gave me some good advice I just need to put them I to practice I guess.

I'm luck I can still drive for now so been to see the horse I use to ride and can let everything out to her as she doesn't answer back to me, just eats away at her hay net haha. 

I've never looked into anything like as there are worse people out there than me, I feel like I just have to cope with it, if you get where I man coming from. 

I'm not sleeping great at the minute as my leg has flared up from the radiotherapy, really itchy and burning right in my groin so it's very hard to get comfy, don't think that's helping my mood much. 

Got my clinic review soon, so hopefully get some sort of cream to help with that.

Thanks for the help, will return the favour if I can in anyway. Hope you mange to get some rest and your chemo goes well this time round :) 

Hi Pop90

Thanks for reply yeah talking to your horse sounds good don't talk back .we have teddy bear we had him over 40 years kids never played with him so still in good nick we talk out load to it loads crxxap we tell this bear sits on bedroom window sill so see him at night and morning .I feel able drive still and hopefully always will is godsend having to rely on buses and lifts would be awful still got independent .good luck at clinic review tell them as much as you can 

I am probably not the best person to ask about writing but I read a lot.  What comes across best (for me at any rate) is when someone doesn't hide anything but tells everything that is in your heart and mind, warts and all (so to speak).  You can write just for yourself in the first instance; sometimes brutal honesty can feel a bit embarrassing but I imagine it would make you feel better to scrape the bottom of your thoughts and actions and what you are feeling.  Don't know if that makes any sense to you. 

Reading your post below can you not get some help with your leg now as you would probably feel better if you got some decent sleep.  Spoil yourself while you can; it's your life that you are living and you deserve to reduce as many problems as you can.

Going to bed myself now.  Good night and hopefully some sleep for you.  Annie