Having lost my husband to lung cancer after 32 years married ive been lost without him and lonely altho we had 4 children they say i cant be lonely as i have them but i dont think they understand i need adults to talk to too
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss Doglady and on behalf of the moderation team I just wanted to offer our heartfelt condolences to you on the passing of your husband of 32 years.
I'm glad you've joined as there are many members here who have been in the same situation, two in particular that come to mind are [@jules54] and [@Syl], and now that I've tagged them in this post I'm sure they will be along soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you.
Whenever you feel lonely remember that our community are always here to chat and listen to what is on your mind.
Welcome to this very supportive and understanding forum and sorry that you join many of us through the loss of a much loved other half. My condolences at this sad time.
I lost my hubby of 37 years in January 2015 and am still on the forum because of the support. I have children and three grandchildren but when you lose your life partner there is a hole nothing can fill.
Please do come and chat as and when you would like. I have found it a help to share my thoughts, fears and even the small steps we try and take to move ourselves forward.
Also if you do not feel like writing you can read some of the 'Inspiration' threads where other members share their interests through photos/words. Jules54
Hi, my new to this, but joined to see if it would help me...I lost my husband just two weeks ago to lung cancer. His funeral is Monday and I'm dreading it, I'm so so sad, can't stop crying, the pain really hurts inside...I have grown up children and they have been staying with me in shifts, but I just miss my husband so much...
It is always with sadness that you read of another loved one lost to this terrible disease and I offer my condolences. You are newly grieving and of couse tears are the only release and they come very easily and often even over the slightest thing. As a Mum you also get pulled both ways as we try and give support to our children who, even though they may be adults, are also grieving the huge loss. If it helps just a little then writing down those feelings can also bring a little release and there are many on this foroum who have been and are still going through the grieving process. Emotions rollercoaster through all sorts of levels and are of course perfectly natural but a hard road to travel through.
Everyone's journey through this grief will be different but you can be sure of understanding ears here on the forum. My own husband's funeral also filled me with dread as it approached though like me you will be surrounded by those who held your husband dear. At times it felt as though I was inside a bubble looking out and something carries you through and you show your love and respect by shedding more tears and afterwards I heard so many things which made me realise how he ws respected and loved. To be honest it was a bit of a blur but you can and do get through it.
If you need to talk the forum helps because of the understanding of others. We often say we move by taking baby steps and I do this every day but can remember only too well the rawness of the early days of loss. Be kind to yourself and allow others to support you if this helps you manage day to day. Jules54
Sorry for your loss ,i to lost my hubby to lung cancer that spread to is brain 14 month ago its hard to carry on at times but you have to carry on as they would wont you to rely on family and friends to surport you also its nice to come on to the forum it helps to talk to people who have gone threw the same thing if you feel like having a cry then cry it helps.take care Syl
I lost my husband to bladder cancer 5 weeks ago and also feel lost and alone. We had been married for 32 years and have two daughters, a three year old granddaughter and a grandson due in September but no matter how much time I spend with them I still feel alone. The best analogy I can think of is that my world has a big husband shaped hole in it and that's all I can see, everything else is muffled and goes on around me but I'm not involved in it.
I think it is early days for both of us and losing your life partner rips a hugh hole in your life, inner peace and equilibrium. I always felt that I could do anything because I had my husband supporting me. I hope that we and others in the same situation find that as time passes we are able to find some enjoyment in our children and grandchildren, and live rather than just exist even if we are unable to imagine that now.
I am sorry to read of your loss but hope that chatting on the forum will help just a little. Whilst my loss is not quite so raw (hubby died Jan 2015) I still have emotional days and your are so right when you say it is hard to imagine the 'hole' that the loss has left will ever be filled.
The only coping mechanism I had and still have is to take things daily and not to expect too much of myself. I too have children and grandchildren (one born after hubby died) but they are also grieving so we are just trying to support each other through the emotional rollercoaster that life is bringing our way just now. I am not sure the 'hole' is ever to be filled but I now see a 'gap' that I am making work for me and I am achieving things I felt unable to do during the first year of grief. Chatting about my feelings has helped and the forum plays an important role in this though sometimes I can ramble too much!!
Thank you for your kind words...reading what everyone on here has been through or going through makes it kind of easier knowing I'm not alone..albeit at times I Feel alone... Venturing out has been hard, but I'm slowly getting there, next step is back to work...that's going to be a bit challenging to say the least...
Taking those small steps each day are big achievements. I obviously don't know the line of work you are in but I chose to visit my workplace about a week before I was due to go back. It was understandably emotional (I had been off a month) but helped knowing I had made initial contact before my main return (I only work part time and have since dropped a few more hours to enable me to cope). Asking for and getting support and understanding from my workmates/manager when I had the occasional meltdown was helpful. Once back it meant I had some time taken up when I was not sitting at home on my own and the routine was a help too. Look after yoruself. Jules
Hi I lost my soulmate, my best friend, my husband to the dreadful disease, lung cancer in October 2016, after being diagnosed 10 months before, we were together 32 years, married 27years he was only 47, it had gone to his brain it is soul destroying to watch this happen to the person you expect to grow old with and its true the huge gap it leaves is unbearable, i also have 3 children, 17, 24 AND 27 years, old they are a wonderful help and have been my rock, but the feeling of being safe just isn't there any more, I've gone back to work after being off for 7 months, most people are very supportive. unless you have experienced a loss like this no one else truly understands how you feel. i miss him every second of every day, i nursed him at home for 3 months before he passed away peacefully with us around him, we have some of the best memories made then and its comforting at times to look back on. We just have coo try and keep strong and try and help others with our experiences. Take Care xx
