Hi Laura..  bless your heart ... I've had a few children in my family over the years that have lost a parent .. and the one thing they all had in common with young ones is they need to escape for some time to do "normal" things , where some adults see it as not caring ... but I've listened to them and how they were really feeling ... and l think it's a child's way of coping ... their brain makes them do other things (even staying away awile) coz your brain tells you, it's worn out and can't cope if you stay in that situation ... 

Some little ones need to get out just to play at a friend's house where it is "normal" older teens would go out and party ... it's a coping mechanism ... it doesn't mean they don't care ... and not feeling able to be around a parent with life limiting conditions is because it brakes your heart to see that person slowly going ...

So please please be kind to your heart, and stop feeling any guilt ... once you can forgive yourself and know why you feel this way, you'll give yourself time away that you need and be stronger to face the the time you can spend with her and it may just feel easier .... you are not alone... there's so many out there in the same position ... realise just how much you have been through ... what would you say to a young person in your position ... l would say ... it's o.k ... my heart is with you ...

There's always someone here to offer a shoulder to cry on ... so sending you a big big virtual hug

Hi laura ... just re read your thread ... l took your age as teen age ... so the info l said was more meant for young ones ... l hope you can understand my mistake as it's my age .... and nothing about cancer is easy .. l hope someone else will look at your thread with more help .... but will be thinking of you ... it's so hard no mater what age you are ... life is sure unfare ... x

Hi Helen ... feel exactly the same ... whatever they do, there or not, our kids are our kids ... and it's unconditional .... Laura bet your mum feels Simerla. .. hold on hunny ... wer always here for you ... 

Hi Laura

You sound as if you've got 'carer's fatigue', which is hardly surprising as you've borne this burden and stress for 16 years. Sounds like your mentally and physically unable to continue giving the same level of care or concern; your reserves are empty.

Completely understandable.

Maybe a holiday or some other respite would be of help, something other than caring. It's vitally important that you have  and live, your own life. To be something other. To experience new things. To have some fun.

Best Regards

Taff