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Distraught

20 Jul 2022 22:08

How do I get through this. I lay next to my 15 year old daughter as she gasped her last breaths and died. 9 months treatment for a cardiac sarcoma. Open heart surgery, gruelling chemo and then during her 6 weeks proton beam therapy she developed 3 aggressive brain tumours and died 3 weeks later. We had her home for 3 weeks palliative care after she developed left side paralysis as the tumour was so big. I can't get to sleep tonight as rel-living  the sound of her gasping to breath as she lost the ability to swallow. There doesn't seem to be anyone who understands the loss of a teenager full of life and dreams. How do I get through? How does my family function without her?

Distraught

20 Jul 2022 22:35 in response to Mummypig1

I have just popped on tonight to check my messages and saw that no one had replied to your very sad post.  I have no comprehension of how I would cope under these awful circumstances and nothing I say will help but I did watch my husband of fifty two years take his last breath a few months ago but the loss of a child must be unbearable.  I hope that others will offer advice and help to guide you in the right direction to receive the help you so deserve in your loss.  A Moderator will read this and will give you helplines and other agencies to give you some guidance.  All my love to you a  your family, Carol 

Distraught

21 Jul 2022 06:46 in response to Mummypig1

So sorry that you have lost your gorgeous daughter. There are helpline numbers and councillors available for you Macmillan should be able to help you find them. Your GP probably has access to the area contacts, if no, joy ring the department that treated your daughter.  I'm surprised that you have not been offered councillors and support, they really helped when I lost a baby due to a really late miscarriage and my GP was really supportive, 

 l hope you have some help soon x

Susie

 

Distraught

21 Jul 2022 08:51 in response to Mummypig1

Hi Mummypig1,

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be.

It looks like you've already received quite a few supportive messages across your two posts, including the link to the TCF organisation from Violetgirl.

Another one to look at is Child Bereavement UK - they offer support for grieving adults and they have a helpline as well as various other resources on their website.

Hopefully one or both of these groups can provide an outlet for you.

We are also always here for support on the forum whenever you need it. If you simply want to write things down, or to reach out to others, we're always here.

Take things slowly, one day at a time; keep speaking to others and reaching out for support.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Distraught

20 Nov 2022 19:49 in response to Mummypig1

I am so sorry to hear your sad news, my beautiful daughter died of a brain tumour in July 2019 and it is so difficult to comprehend when they should have been living a full life and only live half and in some cases not even half. I have found after 3years that it does get a bit easier to cope, but still remember the first horrendous year after she died.  I am not the same person that I was when she was alive and healthy but she wanted me to continue living and enjoy life. It didn’t seem possible at first but now when I am feeling sad I remember her words and keep on going. Also recently I have been able to have good memories of her other than bad memories of her illness and subequent death. 

I found it helpful to talk to somebody who had also lost their child.

take care

mum76