depressed

eight months on i still can not come to terms of losing mum last december to ovarian cancer, we did not know she had,it she was diagnosed late stage 4 where th cancer had already spread up to her neck and could not offer any treatment, she was already in remission from early stage breast cancer since 2011, but  the dam cancer must have come back, mum only lasted three weeks in hosiptal before she passed, why do they say they is no early detection screening for ovarian cancer yet and why do they say its  hard to detect in its early stages because symptoms are  so vague, mum only symptom was stomach bloating now and again, but was told it was a stomach in tolarance problem, so she just got on with it, its like in the end mum had no chance, and it got a horrible nickname which i found out called the silent killer, and it makes me even more depressed knowing many a female out there may be carrying this silent disease, without knowing it, they must crack on to get a early detection screen before more lives are lost to late detection

  • Hi oggi

    I a just over 7 months on from the death of my husband (he had received a terminal diagnosis nearly three years beforehand due to contact with asbestos as a child - something he could have had no knowledge of at the time - it can lay dormant for many years according to his consultant oncologist). 

    The grieiving process takes time (different for everyone I think) but sadness, fear, anger, depression, frustration, and even guilt are all pretty common emotions when watching a loved one suffering/dying with an illness we have no control over. I wish I had the right words to make you feel a whole lot better but I used the forum (have some wonderfully supportive forum buddies) both during my husband's journey and also since. It somehow helps to share with others who unfortunately understand.

    I hope you have the support of other family members and friends. Sending a virtual hug during this difficult time.Jules54

  • hi jules54 thanks for your reply, i have not been on the forum that long but like yourself people are losing loved ones to diffrent illness and cancers, you mentioned it can lay dormant by a oncologist for many a year, cause it got me wondering did mum get this ovarian cancer before her early stage breast cancer in 2011, since 2010 mum thought she had a gluten and wheat problem, she avoided foods with these in as well as coffee because it made a stomach bloat, but far as i know she was told it was a stomach intolerance problem, she was never sent for tests, it makes me wonder if the cancer had layed doormat in her ovaries since then, it seems these days some doctors just tell you what they think it is and tell you to get on with it. i lost my dad at just aged 47 due to a unexpected heart attack, it feels strange parentless, at the moment i am lucky to have three sisters for support, but at the same time i miss going out with mum every week, and since she passed have not hardly gone out, i am worried about how long its going to take mums loss, before i can get  on with life, still feels raw at the moment,  hope you can get support too, cheers oggi

  • Hi again Oggi

    I am glad you have family support.  I  have two adult children and two small grandsons and we are mutually supporting each other. They are keeping me busy this weekend as its my birthday and with that comes a lot of past memories.  Its emotional but can be got through and coping day to day is helping me adjust to a new normal.  I am still going through the grieving process but both  my Dad (he died of cancer 8 years ago but declined all treatment preferring 'pot luck' as he called it - a war veteran's way of looking at life I think) and my late husband are with me in my heart just as  your parents will be held in your heart always. Wishing you peace. Jules