Hi there ... Oh Lord there's no way your being selfish ... Cancer has no bounds to how crule it can be ... I've not done to bad with my cancer and whatever comes ... But I'm 64 and I've lived a full life and seen my boys grow , then 2 of my grand kids became parents ... 

If I had this when my sons were small I'd have broken ... I thought awhile ago my son may have had it .. I had a total brake down for two days because he's got a young family like you ... Thank God he's o.k .. but my my you've got it doubly tough ... Trying to hold it all in and being pulled in so many ways ...

McMillan are there Monday to Friday if you need someone to talk too ... They are there for you too .. they helped me in those early scary times ... Sometimes it helps just writting it down ...

Your not alone ... You can ask anything on here as there's always someone who knows that feeling ... You can ask questions or have a rant ... We know how you feel ...

How do we get through? We just take it a day at a time ... Live in the day ... He's here today ... Make all the memories you can ... They will stay in your heart forever .. know it's o.k to say your both scared .. listen to each other ... And you can walk this journey together ... 

There's a few of us on here who had bad diagnosis and they are pushing it further down the road then they thought possible ... So hold on tight ... It's a bumpy ride ... But we're all on this cancer rollercoaster with you ... Sending you both a big hug .... Chrissie xx

Selfish you are not. Brave and strong in coping with your m-i-l and focussing on your baby girl. I cannot begin to imagine how awful this must be at such young ages - puts my wife's and my illness at 70 and over in perspective. I doubt you can put yourself at the front of your priorities, but your child's yes you can - and YOU need to be there with her when come out the other side of this so do not be afraid of being "selfish" or rather self-focussed when you need to.

My deep sympathy.

Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. I’m just getting ready to pop and see my hubby and will definitely try and pop see Macmillan xxxxxx

Hi and welcome to the forum though so sad to read the journey you and your family find yourself on.  There is not much I can add to what Chriss has already said, other than to mention that for the time my hubby was on his journey this forum and his palliative care team (for nearly 3 yrs) helped me hold on to what we had.

I felt selfish ,guilty, frustrated, angry and I was not the one suffering.  It all felt so wrong but actually when you love someone and just wnt to enjoy family life it hurts so much.  Please chat with the care team, they are there to help you all not just your husband and look after your baby whilst the professionals are looking after your husband. Your wonderful little girl will be helping to make memories you can never forget.

Writing it down and chatting with the forum gave me some relief when I actually felt a failure at being the 'caregiver'. Take a little time to remind yourself that you are doing all you can in an emotional and hertbreaking time and vent here if  you need to.  There are many wonderful virtual supporters who really do understand. Jules

Hi, I just wanted to write because your situation as you describe it has many similarities to mine. We have an 11 month old and have been dealing with my husbands stage 4 colorectal cancer for almost 6 months now. He also has it spread to his liver and lymph nodes and his mother is also finding it understandably hard. 

I am so angry at the world for doing this to my baby, even more than to me. It will be hell for me but I’m a grown up, I can handle it (I hope), but it just breaks me to think of our son not knowing his daddy, who is such a kind and loving man. For those first 6 months we had our perfect little world and now it’s just shattered. 

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice and I won’t write too much more as I can see I’m just getting upset and that won’t help you. But I just wanted to say I understand some of what you’re feeling. Of course, every situation is different and we will all have our own experiences. 

I just try desperately to stay positive, (and fail most days at the moment) even if it’s fake, for our boy. I don’t want him to feel my sadness and anger even though it is sometimes so overwhelming. 

I try and do as much as I can to include my hubby with our baby, and build as many tiny bits of happiness as we can manage with him while he’s here. It’s so hard, I’m so sorry that you have to do it too. 

Xxx 

Thank you for your reply. I’ve not logged on in a while so only just seen this. 

Im so sorry your young family are dealing with this. If you’d like we can message as it would be loverly to have someone who understands xxxx