Hello Louise, I am so pleased you came here to tell your story.  I became angry myself while reading your post.  I take it that at least one if not all of them is/are fit enough to make the trip?  Is there a financial reason?    I don't know their circumstances.

I am sure you are a very loving caring wife caring for your husband in these difficult times and really you don't deserve these problems.  If it were me I think I would write a very calm short letter - no recriminations - but telling them the situation and saying you are sorry they cannot visit or some such.   Explain why it is not feasible for your husband to visit them (his dialysis, illness, physical restrictions , etc).   Then leave it; the ball is firmly in their court without any nastiness.  Of course I don't know these people and you may feel that it would cause you more hassles than it is worth.  But it annoys me that you who have done so much for your husband (and their family member) cannot persuade them to do their bit.

Hi Annieliz,

Thank you for your support and recommendations. Yes, you are correct. John's mother is extremely obese and cannot walk anymore. She uses a scooter. However, my house is 100% handicap accessible including a lift to the main floor and a walk-in tub. I spent alot of money on these items when John's arm was amputatted because I wanted him to be safe in our home. John's father says his wife is too much work for even several caretakers. Therefore, he is the only one who can care for her and cannot leave. I find that reasoning confusing at best. Ad for John's sister, yes, she has financial issues, but his parnets could afford to buy her ticket. John addressed them over the phone and told them that there excuses were 20 years old. He also said that his physical limitations combined with our financial limitations were also valid. After having a night to sleep on it, he told me this morning that he would rather stay here and focus on the family here who he knows loves him the most. We have an adult son who lives three hours away and would like to take some day trips to visit him. We also have our 12 year old son who still needs as many great memories with his dad as he can get.

I have been using CaringBridge to document John's progress since he first contracted his internal cancer in January 2015. His parents follow it but not his sister. They are more than informed on his progress.

I only have one week from work remaining. I am so fortunate that my employer is allowing me to work from home while I care for John. However, I do have to drive into work for meetings regularly, and it is not like I can just pick up and go 3000 miles and work from there. I am not as agry today as I was yesterday. I am moving on to acceptance of their chooses as exactly that - their choices.

Thanks for your emotional support. It is very helpful to me.

That seems eminently sensible.  It is not worth putting yourselves through the hassle with people who will twist and turn and find excuses for not doing anything.    I am so pleased your husband has also resigned himself to this and is happy to stay with the people who love him and would do anything for him.  As you are using CaringBridge you generously keep them infomed (although I expect it was not just for their benefit).  You have plenty to do with your closest family and you will say goodbye to the aggravation and irritation.  Best wishes to you and your family.