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daughter informed of my diagnosis without my consent

20 Oct 2019 21:23

Hello

Please help my husband and I are so distressed, our daughter is at university and I start my chemo session on Wednesday,

and we were going to inform her next Sunday once everything was in place, we have told a handful of people and have said under no circumstances let our daughter know, one of our friends daughter (who isn’t even a friend of our daughter) sent her a message sending her condolences, of course our daughter asked if anything was wrong and was extremely anxious and obviously away from home, I quickly got the girl to retract the message, but what do I do now, my daughter is away from

home and on her own, so worried about her, what should I do.

daughter informed of my diagnosis without my consent

21 Oct 2019 01:15 in response to NN64

How awful. Its a difficult situation, she'll worry anyway and perhaps letting her imagination run wild thinking the worse..  What's the difference of telling her before Sunday? does she come home on Sunday?. I would tell her but in an upbeat and reasuring way, under no circumstances would I deny it.  I would also inform her university so they know to make contact with your daughter with offers of support. 

daughter informed of my diagnosis without my consent

21 Oct 2019 16:31 in response to Magpiemaggie

Hello

Thank you for your reply, I have spoken to the university and made aware of this situation. Our daughter has just got herself a first proper boyfriend and was home the week before but she was just so happy it wasn’t the right time to tell her. We are prepared but just such a shame this happened.

 

daughter informed of my diagnosis without my consent

21 Oct 2019 18:04 in response to NN64

I understand, the last thing us parents want to do is hurt our children, I didn’t tell mine about the full extent of my cancer and he’s blissfully unaware but then I could only do that as I did not have chemo, so no warning signs for him. I wish you all the best x