Dad unaware of his poor prognosis

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in August this year.

We met with his oncologist last week who said to me he may only have a few months left to live.

My dad didn't want to know his prognosis as he believes hope is important. I am fine with that decision, but it's causing me a few problems.

I'm obviously keen to get his affairs in order, but every suggestion is met with;

"There's no rush, I'll be around for a few years yet"

How do I gently push this without alerting him to his actual prognosis?

I'm finding it so hard keeping this news to myself and trying to stay upbeat for both my parents.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation and can offer some advice?

  • You can try and persuade your dad without relating it to his cancer in any way. Set it in more general terms as something it is important to do especially with nasties like Covid, flu etc around. Really, both your parents should sort their affairs out not just your dad.  Also, are your own affairs in order? How general are you willing to make any discussions? Good luck!

    Btw I just looked back over your earlier posts and saw that your dad is 80. Wow! People are generally advised to sort out their affairs so don't leave big mess and muddle a lot earlier in life. If he hasn't sorted things out by now, sadly he may never do so. This isn't really a cancer issue. It's bigger than that. It's going to be very hard to get everything done now given his age and what the doctors have told you in terms of prognosis. Tricky! x