My dad has stage 4 lung cancer with brain mets. He was diagnosed almost 13 weeks ago and now I feel he's at the end. The past week he has become very, very weak, very confused and very breathless. It's like he's not there anymore. Last night, he was kicking and punching me, which is totally out of character and for the past couple of weeks he's been screaming out 'this pain is unreal, God help me' and the past few days he's been swearing, grimacing and crying out in pain. He's been on oramorph for almost 3 weeks now and I sorted a syringe driver and stronger pain meds but he's refusing to take them and refusing to go to hospital. I called the district nurses up and the visited me today but he told them he wasn't in pain and was screaming no when they asked if he wanted stronger meds. It's awful seeing my dad suffer and I know he doesn't want to. Either the brain tumour or the fact his body is shutting down has changed him and he can't make the right decisions anymore. But they said he has to accept treatment himself. I'm sitting at home with him as he shouts 'god help' over and over. Then he's fine for a while and when I try and comfort him he says 'go to bed' or he tries to punch me. It's heartbreaking seeing him suffer.
