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Dad passed away from cancer of duodenum

7 Feb 2018 12:01

In June I went to see my dad after he was ill, he told me not to and he’d be fine but I went anyway. I found him on his sofa emaciated I hadn’t noticed how thin he was as he hid it so well. He told me he had cancer and had for some years but was never professionally diagnosed he just knew. After being in the hospital for 4months and having a major op we found out it was cancer of the duodenum but luckily most of it was removed. Dad came home for a month to recover and start chemo but on his first appointment he collapsed and was rushed for tests and an op where we found it had spread and was terminal. He was sent to a hospice where I cared for him as much as I could until Christmas Day when he passed away. I’m struggling so much and miss my dad terribly. This all happened in the space of 6 months. I’m only 23 and just need my dad or some advice on how to cope. Thank you for reading

Re: Dad passed away from cancer of duodenum

7 Feb 2018 14:20 in response to Cjdblk

Welcome to the forum Cjdblk.

I'm really sorry to read about what brings you here and on behalf of the team here at Cancer Chat I would like to offer you our sincerest condolences on the passing of you father.

It really sounds like you've been a lot and I'm sure many of our forum members will completely understand what you're going through at the moment having been in similar situations themselves and I'm sure some of them will be along soon to offer their support and advice.

I've included some information we have on coping with grief which I hope will be of some help and comfort to you at this time but if you feel like you need more support it may be worth getting in touch cruse bereavement who specialise in helping those who have lost a loved one.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Dad passed away from cancer of duodenum

8 Feb 2018 20:06 in response to Cjdblk

Sorry to hear this sad news

i lost my husband and father of my two boys on 11th january

its like I’m living in a daze at moment which maybe looks like I’m coping on the inside 

it’s hard very hard

just one day at a time eh 

Re: Dad passed away from cancer of duodenum

8 Feb 2018 22:36 in response to Gemini23

I’m sorry for your loss and hope your boys are ok at this difficult time. I’m not sure I’m even in the grieving process yet. 

I don’t know where to put myself but I can only describe it as genuinely missing him like he’s gone away for a month, I just want to talk to him and I can still imagine him sitting in his chair.

the hardest thing for me is that he won’t get to see my achievements in life and will miss out on seeing his first grandchild. The only thing I hold onto is hoping he is still here in spirit. It’s so surreal. 

Thank you for the message. 

Re: Dad passed away from cancer of duodenum

19 Mar 2018 08:17 in response to Cjdblk
Hello, So sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. My Mum passed away in January a couple of weeks after being diagnosed with duodenal cancer. She too was sick but was incorrectly diagnosed with a gastric ulcer. My Mum was in her early 60s and was fit and healthy until late last year. I am in the same boat as you, it all feels surreal. I'm so upset about her missing out on all of the grandchildrens achievements because she loved them so much. And its upsetting to think how scared she qould have felt after being diagnosed even though she wouldnt tell us.