I have been trying to search for answers that I know I won't get and answers to questions I don't really want to know, but have been using this space for information for a few weeks.

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to the liver, kidneys, lymph and bone 5 weeks after a long wait. He had a small heart attack in November and was in hospital for 2 weeks and in that time had a CT scan. It showed a mass in his lung but was not followed up. It was not until May that he received a full diagnosis, with a view to start chemo.

A week ago he started to complain of severe fatigue, confusion and speech delay. On Wednesday he was sent to hospital once again and had a CT scan,  revealing the cancer had spread to the brain, and the bones had diminished leaving calcium in the blood stream, making him confused.

My dad is a 65 year old smoker but was only a couple of weeks ago a vibrant, positive man and now to see him dazed and feeble is heart breaking. I get married in August and he so wanted to be there but I think he will only be around for a couple of weeks, such is the aggressiveness of his illness. I'm so distraught I can't stop crying, but don't want to upset him. I am trying to manage my sadness but finding it pretty unbearable to think he won't be here soon.

If anyone has any advice to try to hold it together that would be great. Thanks