Dad has Mesothelioma…. If anyone can help :(

Hi sorry this is my first post and I'm feeling so lost that, please bear with me if I ramble.

Dad was diagnosed in December with mesothelioma, we've never been told what stage but that it wasn't operable.

In March he had 6 chemo sessions, he slowly got worse over the 6 sessions 

in June he couldn't handle the pain and was sent for palliative radiotherapy 

since this he has declined 

last week he was in hospital which I had to fight for someone to actually see him, doctors have been just been upping his meds via phone and Macmillan nurse team also weren't concerned.

a doctor finally saw him and admitted him to hospital last Monday. They drained a lung on Friday.

he isn't eating, feels his breathing isn't any better since the lung drain and is sleeping a lot 

is this the end? Should I take time off work? Is the radiotherapy still affecting him? Could it turn around? I know it's palliative but no one is listening or helping and the hospital were absolutely shocking.

has any one dealt with this? Please be honest I want to support my Dad fully but feel I can't when I don't know if things will get worse etc.

x

  • Hi Daffodill83,

    Firstly welcome to Cancer Chat and I'm very sorry to hear of the situation with your Dad. This sounds incredibly tough and especially with the lack of information.

    It's very hard to advise on this as it's only really those involved in his care who can answer these sorts of questions. I'm sure you already have, but to try to speak to his doctor/specialist to get some answers and the information you need in order to be able to best support him as well as to set your own expectations.

    Our nurses won't be able to offer information specific to your Dad, but they are available if you'd like to talk things through and get some general support. You can reach them on 0808 800 4040 - Monday-Friday, 9-5.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Daffodill83

    So sorry to hear about your dad. My brother was diagnosed with mesothelioma nearly a year ago, he had chemo but it did not work. From then on it was just a matter of time, he died in March this year, at home with family, He was able to do so due to palliative nurses visiting everyday. He did sleep a lot in his last month. You don't mention GP involvement, they can pull services together for your dad.

    Its hard to see someome suffereing and all my brother wanted was family around him.

  • Hi, thank you for replying to me and im so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. It's def hard to see someone you love suffering. 
    Did anyone ever give your brother timescales or say when they thought he may only have months left? I understand it's difficult to judge but I also feel they must be able to tell.

    I have Dorothy House visiting today so I am hoping they will help. GP haven't been that great have to say. All this Covid means no one will ever see my Dad just do everything over the phone! 
    thank you again for replying
     

  • Thank you for your reply it's appreciated and I understand not everyone has the answer. It's a difficult road to travel. Thank you 

  • Hi

    He was only told there was nothing they could do, timescale was not discussed but our dad also had lung cancer at the same time so we knew the signs at the end. Dad died 3 weeks before my brother. My brother went to Dad's funeral but found it difficult walking, slept the rest of the day and his last week was in bed, sleeping all the time.