Hey, 

My dad had a different type so I can't comment, but like most it did spread to liver, lungs etc. I felt exactly the same as you and selfishly didn't want him to go. I will say though that although we kept him reasonably comfortable and he battled until the very end I remember thinking in my head when I saw him so tired on the day he went to sleep that I wanted him to be at peace. Never in a million years selfishly did I want him to go, but there comes a time your mindset changes. 
I've trawled this website for well over a year finding support and searching for answers and 'terminal' seems to be different every which way you look. 
Sending all my love x 

Hi I'm new to the forum and can totally relate. 
 

My dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer that had spread to the liver in may 2018, he was told he had approx 6 months without chemo and 'some years' with treatment. He went on to have chemotherapy which was successful up until 3 months ago, he was then given a break and got his latest scan results yesterday (21 months after initial prognosis) and it was bad news. They said the cancer in the liver has got significantly larger and there is new cancer showing in the lung. 

We have been told there is no more that can be done for him. He has been referred to palliative care and we are waiting for them to contact us. We were told on average that his stage of cancer on average people live for approx 4/5 months however some people go on to live for 1-2 years and others don't last as long. The doctor made it very clear he was unable to put a time on it but could only give information based on averages. 
 

I'm waiting for the palliative care team to contact us with what to do next. My heart is broken, I feel lost and I can't cope but I have to pretend in front of him that I am fine. 
 

I really do wish you and your family all the best and I hope your dad stays in good spirits for whatever time he has left.

Thank you so much for your reply. What you said about your mindset changing has helped me so much over the last week. My dad went in to hospital on Friday morning and we were told he had 3 infections and that the cancer was progressing quickly. By Sunday we knew it was time to let him go. He passed away peacefully Tuesday morning . I am devastated beyond words, even though we knew the tim was coming, it's so so difficult. Thank you again for your reply. Xx

Hi, it sounds like our dads have had similar experiences over the last 2 years.

I have found it so difficult at times to keep going..

My dad passed away yesterday after a harrowing week of infection and confusion..

It seemed so important for me since his terminal diagnosis on 19th December to know how long we had with him. Nobody would commit to any timescale which I found the worst aspect. What if I didnt see him that day? What if I didnt get to say the things I had planned to? 

There are no easy answers. Say what you need to say, make memories if you can and talk about all the good times from the past.

Please contact me again if I can be of any comfort to you.

Sending love  and strength x

Thanks so much for your reply! 
 

im so so sorry for what your going through, and I'm so sorry to hear he has passed. 
 

can I ask, was there a slow deterioration with him over a matter of months or did he just take poorly one day and not really come back from it? I'm so sorry to ask such personal questions at such a hard time for you, I'm just trying to get my head around how quickly this is going to happen considering he's not in any pain and is like completely normal and you wouldn't even know he was sick. 
 

im trying to stay as normal as possible, carry on being positive and doing normal things but my mind just keeps drifting back to this and I'm struggling. 
 

again, I am so sorry for your loss x 

Hi,

I'm sorry you're so much at the moment. 

For my dad we had some days where I thought he looked so I'll that it could be a matter of days and then some days he seemed stronger and I hoped we might have months. He had several infections after the terminal diagnosis that weakened him and left him confused. I spoke to my own doctor about dealing with the stress of not knowing how long and he said you will just know when he is near the end because it will be obvious. Three days after this  conversation it became obvious that dad was dying.

Please contact me again if you want to xx 

Hi shazcaz75, 

Ive got no real advice but your story is identical to mine with my father. I just wanted to reach out to tell you that I know where you are coming from and you're not alone 

if you need to talk I'm happy to listen. It's a horrid feeling but maybe people experiencing the same emotions can help each other ? X

Hi confused2020,

thank you for reaching out.

I'm finding it very difficult to accept he's really gone this time. Funeral is next Friday.

hope you are coping x

Hope you don't mind me replying to this post

I too am going through this my dad is in his final stages, he was diagnosed with unknown primary source cancer which has spread to his lungs liver and lymph nodes, he was given months at Christmas but just after new year he was given weeks.   I live couple of hours drive from my dad and I am struggling with whether I should be down more than I am, although I am trying my best to get down a few times a week but it's  difficult with me working and I have four children who I am trying to keep in normal routine with my eldest doing his mocks and GCSEs coming up so I need to be here too.   My head is all over the place and I'm plagued with guilt when I'm home for my dad and when I'm with my dad for my kids.

Every time I say  bye to  my dad I am worried sick it's the last time. But I try to stay strong for him.

I have good support at home and my mum lives nearby she's been a god send, but nevertheless it's still happening and its awful seeing my dad like this 

Thanks  for  reading